Apparently Florida considers this a "special weapon". I'd get started, but there are so many jokes in this story that I don't know where to begin. You can't make up stuff like this! WCBS NEWSRADIO 880 - Homeless Florida Man Tries to Steal Ferret by Putting It in His Pants Homeless Florida Man Tries to Steal Ferret by Putting It in His Pants JACKSONVILLE BEACH, FL (AP) -- It's one thing for shoplifters to hide plunder in their pants. But a live ferret? Police say a homeless man in north Florida did just that. And he made it out the door before being challenged. Thirty-eight-year-old Rodney Bolton is charged with theft over the $129 animal that police say he took from a pet store in Jacksonville Beach. A 17-year-old witness confronted Bolton in the parking lot and was bitten by the animal after the man allegedly shoved it in the teen's face. That confrontation makes the ferret a ``special weapon'' under Florida law. So Bolton also faces battery charges for dangerously wielding the animal. Calls to the Jacksonville Sheriff's Department to see if Bolton has a lawyer were not answered early Thursday.