Bully Problem

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by dave8, Apr 15, 2009.

  1. dave8

    dave8 New Member

    Hey guys, I have been dealing with this problem for a few months now. I am coming to you guys because all of you seem like very level-headed people that can offer good advice in situations like this. This is my first post because I usually just read all of the interesting information on here. I don't have much information to contribute myself on other topics, sorry. Anyways...

    There is this this kid named Tony that goes to my high school. He is not a very big kid, but he does a lot of drugs and gets in a lot of fights. He has mugged a couple of my acquaintances, and he has stolen money/items from a few of my friends. Last weekend my best friend was at a party and Tony asked him for a beer. My friend refused because he hates Tony for the stuff he does to kids, then Tony walks away and throws a beer can hard and hits him in the head. My friend isn't very big so he didn't want to get in a fight. He calls me up, tells me what happened, and my other friend and I rush over to the party, pissed as hell, looking to kick the s*** out of this Tony kid. We know Tony and his 2 friends (small, but vicious) always carry knives on them. (These are Tony's only friends that would stick up for him in a fight out of the whole school btw). Tony and his friends end up leaving before we get there. To sum it up, Tony has messed with many of my friends, and I really want to pretty much kill him next time I see him outside of school. I could destroy him in a fight 1v1, but my dilemma is that Tony carries a knife. Then I have to wip out my baseball bat to get the job done, but then I can get in big time trouble for assault with a deadly weapon. So what do I do? I can't just let this s*** keep happening! FWIW, I have friends that can fight and would back me in a fight against this punk. So any helpful ideas? What would you guys do in a situation like this? Thanks a lot!
  2. JoeCool

    JoeCool New Member


    That's what they're there for, if you can pull them away from their laser guns.

    You have witnesses to his crimes so getting charges and hopefully a conviction shouldn't be hard.

    Don't be a vigilante though, otherwise you'll be the one with problems.

    Good luck

  3. dunerunner

    dunerunner New Member

    Definitely get the authorities and your parents involved. Life is too short to start out with undesirable references on your record. And stay away from Tony!!
  4. Ravnelunatic

    Ravnelunatic New Member

    Bullies and such.

    +1 on police. If you attempt to do anything yourself, you will be in a world of trouble. (if you survive.) In these days of PC, you will end up in trouble with school/police even if you are defending yourself. This will put you in an even worse situation if you go vigilante on the creep.

  5. Jesse17

    Jesse17 New Member

    If you know they carry knives at school, go to the principal or other school official and tell them, "I saw so and so with a knife, today. I was scared." Get the problem removed.

    Don't engage them in a fight out of revenge. If you do, you deserve what's coming (knife and all, you already said you know they have knives).

    The only acceptable time to use a weapon is in fear for your life. I'm not saying not to carry a weapon, but if you start carrying a weapon now (knowing you're going to fight with so and so) it's no longer an issue of you got in to a fight and used something to defend your life. It's more of an issue of, you armed yourself in anticipation of antagonizing a fight.

    Don't go out looking for a fight. That's how you end up dead or in prison!

    If you feel you need to arm yourself great, but by doing that, you take on much more responsibility to avoid a fight than if you were unarmed. If you arm yourself, you need to make a conscious decision to avoid people you may get into a fight with. Going to a party looking for someone is not self defense, it's 1st degree assault or murder!
  6. bgeddes

    bgeddes New Member

    Tony is destined for lifelong trouble. Stay away, do not confront, and live a better life than he does.

    By all means defend yourself, but don't look for it.

    You sound like a good kid, keep it so.
  7. dave8

    dave8 New Member

    Thanks for the advice guys. I know I should just avoid this kid but it is hard because I hate him so much. I have never really disliked someone, much less despise them. Plus I'm 18 and If I got charged, that would probably ruin my chances of getting into college... I've been battling myself for a while on this issue and you guys are swaying me the right way so I do apprecciate it.
  8. Slawth

    Slawth New Member

    Have you spoken to your parents about the situation? That would be my first move. That is easy for me to say now, though. I haven't been 18 for a long time.
  9. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

    The guy's a doper and a loser. He may get lucky or maybe blessed and turn himself around or he may not. It's not your job to "teach him a lesson".

    Your job is to move forward in your life, go to college and make something of yourself. ;)
  10. Angrypoonani

    Angrypoonani New Member

    +1 distancing yourself or even avoiding people like that will only make your life better. College is simpler in the sense that it becomes much easier to avoid nobodies like this guy you speak of, just stay as far away from him as possible and avoid confrontations... the public school system blows at dishing out punishment justly so it'll be easier for you to just avoid him. if he confronts you try to calm the situation and walk away, if he attacks you give him a love tap on the nose then walk away if he lets you. If you defend yourself and don't go around looking for a fight no one will mess with you.

    I made the mistake of fighting with an annoying punk back in high school and it landed me with a $200 fine and a school suspension. Just walk away;)
  11. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

    You have made a very wise decision to ask rather than react. That shows me you have the ability to exercise your intellect rather than allow your emotions to take over!

    Drop the "I hate him so much" thought. Sounds silly when you re-read it doesn't it? His future is cast and your 'hate' of him has no bearing. What do you gain by kicking the $hit out of him? Some short term instant gratification? How much college tuition will that buy?

    The simple act of your internal compass directing you to this site to ask for advice speaks volumes as to what I foresee as your bright future! And I don't see that future including a premeditated street fight!

    Take some advice from this old fart. Each morning when I get up I have a fixed amount of energy I have available to spend that day. (Seems to get smaller each morning!) I make every effort to spend that energy positively. Each ounce of that energy spent in a negative manner is wasted, never to serve me or anyone again! Every bit of that energy spent in a positive manner enriches my and others' lives!

    I carry every time I leave my house. (Even when I walk the dog around the block.) I smile and wave to those that pass and will talk to anyone with time to share. Not one of them knows I am armed and I do not present the image that I'm looking for trouble. Not once in my long life have I needed to draw my weapon and I pray I never need to. Just imagine the thought the BG would have (albeit a short thought) should he decide to take advantage of this pleasant old man!

    My point is, I avoid negative confrontations like the plague. I present no desire for them, stay away from known problem areas and never let my guard down however comfortable the environs are. Try it and I bet you will sleep better and live a long and successful life.

    Good luck dave8, and stick around. We love to dole out free advice! [​IMG]
  12. flyingbrickracing

    flyingbrickracing New Member

    Ditto on all the advice.......
    Having been in the same boat back in the day,I found the adults in my life were more than willing to help but were not always there so plan ahead for the problem.
    Carry a cell phone,don't go to the mall or a party alone,if you see him walk away.
    If he does steal something call the police,If you see him assault someone call the police,they may not want to but you can as a witness.
    If Tony is a loner He may just be looking for attention so if he hasn't done anything against the law ,play down your reaction and walk away,when he doesn't get what he wants he may look for someone easier to provoke.
    If he ramps it up call the police
  13. cpttango30

    cpttango30 New Member

    This is one of the reasons I think every family should be required to own and know how to operate a back-hoe. Then there would be no problem with this tony punk.

    Yes back in the day we would have taken him out behind auto shop and whooped his sorry drugie azz. But in todays world just go to the cops and let them deal with it.
  14. Gojubrian

    Gojubrian New Member

    Very sound advice!!

    I wish I had this kind of access when I was younger. :eek:
  15. dirtbikingdad

    dirtbikingdad New Member

    All great replys. I quadruple ditto the staying away plan. Turn the other cheek if you will. Even if you are under 18, records are there and will haunt you for a very long time. A few months ago, my son went for a Air Force ROTC scholarship. They wanted to know everything. Traffic tickets too! His record was clean, but you never know what could hamper you down the road.

    You're not being "chicken" or copping out going to the police. You are being smart. For now and for your future. Unfortunately, in todays computerized world and everything documented and available everywhere, one little mess up can possilbly wreck your whole future.
  16. dog2000tj

    dog2000tj New Member

    Wow a lot of great advice on here. Sad thing is I heard the same while growing up but I chose to ignore it. :eek:

    A similar situation happened to me way back when while in HS. Ex-friend threatened me with a knife. I proceeded to kick the **** out of him and his 2 friends. ;) Just ended up with a bigger problem. :mad: Trouble with that group followed me outside of HS.

    I would take the advice of the others and make sure each instance is documented by someone - school, police, parents. Getting into a 1 on 1 fight just doesn't really happen like it does in the movies. Turn your back or lose sight of someone for 1 second and you could be seriously hurt. Ask me how I know. :(
  17. WDB

    WDB New Member

    All very good advice, you can also speak with your school Counselor or student advisor about the issue and they should be able to help with out putting your name next to the issue. Also consider un unsigned letter to the principal expressing your concerns with this kid, they will have to keep an eye on him if nothing more than to cover there butts. The best payback you can give a guy like this is your living a great life, so don't let him mess up your chances to go to college.

    We all wish you the best and keep us in the loop.
  18. dave8

    dave8 New Member

    More thanks for all the good advice guys! I read all of your posts and believe it or not, it really is inspiring to me. Its awesome that you guys don't even know me and are willing to sincerely help me out. BTW, Tango, my dad does have a backhoe but unfortunately I'm not an experienced grave digger :D And dog2000, what happened?
  19. dog2000tj

    dog2000tj New Member

    Too many opponents at 1 time. :( Too drunk to think things through :( But hey, the Giants did just win the SB :D

    2, maybe 3 I can handle depending on the situation - 4,5,6 or more and it is just too much. Weapons, they change the scenario completely. No matter how big/strong/tough/experienced/skilled someone is, getting hit in the back of the head will almost always put someone down. Taking a blow from a weapon is not like it is in the movies. Getting put on the ground against multiple opponents is a tough position to be in no matter who you are.

    A word of caution, if you ever do find yourself in that position keep your back protected and strike first. Make sure number 1 goes down for the duration. Shed number 2 and put down number 3 as hard as you can. Return to number 2 and finish him off. Like I said, any more than 3 and you can be in real trouble. And don't worry about running, you can always fight another day. :D
  20. Mark F

    Mark F Active Member Supporter


    I've seen some good advise here but none I would follow to the letter. Make Tony's pitiful little life miserable.

    Here is how you do it:

    Do just what you did here. But take it to the next level: Contact (in writing as well as in person) your ... School Officials, School Board, Police, Parents, and even local News Media if no one listens. Kids like him get away with a lot crap because no one will do anything. When I was in high school, all the bullies stayed away from me like the Black Plague. Because they knew I'd get even with them. And I did several times.

    You can kick Tony's butt if you like, but it won't stop him. Only the power of AUTHORTIY can put him in his place.
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2009