Best ever put down line.

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Davyboy, Sep 23, 2012.

  1. Davyboy

    Davyboy New Member

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    We who have lived life at some time have had that smart assed comment that made us feel 2 inches tall and a little red in the cheeks. I will start.

    In my youth when I fancied myself as a ladies man I was in a pub in Liverpool England. I had been eyeing up a particular young lady who was very attractive, spying my chance whils't she was at the bar I walked up and offered to buy her a drink, she replied in a thick Liverpool accent. I already have one ass hole in my pants and don't need another one so f**k off
     
  2. PanBaccha

    PanBaccha New Member

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    So very Liverpoolish. :D
     

  3. Sniper03

    Sniper03 Supporting Member Supporter

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    Davyboy!

    WOW! Could we say she definitely beat to the chase! Could you imagine being with her anyway! She obviously was a real charmer! :eek: Now that is a PUT DOWN!
    One I heard was a police officer stopped a lady for excessive speed in the normal fashion.
    He went up to the car and ask here for her license and registration. Then he said excuse me for asking, but where is the Fire! She responded, right here between my legs and I do not think you have enough hose to put it out! OUCH!

    03
     
  4. manta

    manta Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Did you get of with her. ?
     
  5. rurak

    rurak New Member

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    On the night of my senior prom my best friend and our dates were taking pics at my house. My dad wouldnt stop telling me to drive safe so i poured on the sarcastic tone and said "i understand dad". He proceeded to tell me in front of everyone (my date included) "youre not too old for me to put you across my knee" ..... i was 17 .... friggin weirdo
     
  6. NitroxAZ

    NitroxAZ New Member

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    Several years ago a friend of mine and I were having a discussion with a guy who was anti gun. He was making several stupid comments and my friend finally had enough of this guy's nonsense and said

    "I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and $h1t a better argument than that"
     
  7. Davyboy

    Davyboy New Member

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    Nah she scared me to death, I wasn't even old enough to drink at the time. :eek:
     
  8. tri70

    tri70 New Member

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    A buddy and would always be on the make for chicks back in the day. If we saw a good looking one with a lesser one, we would usually say, Your not gonna like the one your gonna get!
     
  9. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    Way back in the day, 100 years ago or so. :rolleyes:

    Friday and Saturday night cruising was a big deal and a great way to meet girls. I was with a buddy at the time, we were big gym rats, trained together and always thought having a good set of arms/shoulders and a smile was a great in.

    We were driving in my Mustang GT at the time, one of many money pits that I had sunk most of my salary into and was souped up, tinted, rimmed and had an awesome stereo.

    We had seen these hot girls in a Jeep cruising several times and we had flirted, but were never side by side on the same run through the cruising strip, but they weren't the only girls we were interested in on that night.

    So after a stop for some eats, we were pulling out of McDonald's as, low and behold, in pulled the Jeep. We were waiting to exit and they were waiting for in on the drive thru so we were driver to driver.

    With the windows down, and the jeep wide open we make an attempt to engage the two in the Jeep when the driver started with a green light if ever I had heard one.

    "Hey, I really like your body, that is gorgeous"......

    I responded that I was impressed with hers too, my chest all inflated and thinking I was within sight of closing escrow.

    "Oh, you thought I was talking about you? I meant the car you arrogant dick" and drove ahead into the drive thru. :eek:

    Put Down - Achieved. Ego? Shot to sh*t. :p
     
  10. opaww

    opaww New Member

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    I came home early from work one day and entered the house , the wife did not hear me come in because she was deeply ingoessed in cybersexing. I walked up behind her and saw what she was doing then said doesn't that keyboard hurt in there? She jumped with a start and composed herself then said "No there is plenty of room" At which I said "your not telling me anything new"

    I have not had sex sense
     
  11. Davyboy

    Davyboy New Member

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    Now that is funny right there :D:D:D
     
  12. opaww

    opaww New Member

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    I had a friend who was not retarded but just a little slow and did not understand some concepts in life. He and I were at a club in Louisville one Friday night and he asked the female sitting at the table next to us if she would like to go out on a date. She said that she had an associate degree from Spenserian collage and was to good for him. So he asked me what that meant and I said, “it just means she is a $2.25 Ho, instead of a regular $2.00 Ho.” She got pissed and wanted to start a fight right there, so I said OK, OK, your worth $2.50 instead”
     
  13. manta

    manta Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Lucky escape i think.
     
  14. Davyboy

    Davyboy New Member

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    Best reply to a put down

    We where in The Grafton Rooms in Liverpool, look it up a well known grab a granny night. At 17 anything over 25 was a granny. My mate Lol approached a very fit looking 30 year old lady and asked her to dance. She replied ( I don't dance with kids, his instant reply was. Sorry miss did not know you where pregnant just thought you where a little over weight. :D
     
  15. WebleyFosbery38

    WebleyFosbery38 New Member

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    We have a 75 year old friend that ran her own construction and trucking business with 50 Tractors many years ago. It was a hell of an accomplishment for a woman with a 6th grade education. She often butchers the English language but we all let it pass because shes earned the respect of a early Woman Entrepreneur.

    One day at the beginning of Fall, we were chatting about the Geese flying south and noted the Hummingbirds seemed to disappear about the same time but their little wings must make it hard to fly so far. Betty chimed in and said with a completely straight face, "The Hummingbirds ride down south on the the backs of the Geese". She was completely serious and none of us batted an eye, funny as hell....
     
  16. robocop10mm

    robocop10mm Lifetime Supporting Member Lifetime Supporter

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    So that made you what, 15?
     
  17. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

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    "Howz about you and me stepping out, sweet thing?"

    "Sorry- I never date outside of my species." :rolleyes:



    "I'm pretty sure we've met before..."

    "Yes, we probably have. I work at the free VD clinic downtown."




    "I'll bet I could put a smile on your face."

    "If you leave now, you will."



    "Where have you been all my life?"

    "For most of it, I was not born yet."



    "You're everything I look for in a woman."

    What? Above room temperature?"
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2012
  18. Jstrong

    Jstrong New Member

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    Wasn't exactly trying to pick up the chick in question,but I was eyeing a pair of shoes in a store once,and I asked if they had them in a size 15 or a 14 wide,her peppy was sorry we only sell human sizes here
     
  19. downsouth

    downsouth New Member

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    Which store boy , Pops will take care of that shoe floosy.
     
  20. tri70

    tri70 New Member

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    The hummingbird-geese thing is true.;) I just google, not true but I have always heard the myth too!
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2012