Battle on the home front

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by MobileMarine, Sep 9, 2011.

  1. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    Im sure Im not the only one who has had this experiance or Jerry Springer episode in their life but her it goes . My moms sibblings consist of 1 brother and 4 sisters . My mother died a bit over a year ago and she was second to the youngest . I have 3 aunts 1 is too old to do anything the 2 oldest lives in va and lives to micro manage and my uncle has 5 divorces under his belt so that leaves my other aunt, the youngest and the only other one to have a kid . About 2-3 months ago my aunt K and her husband '' uncle g'' who have been married for 23 yrs started having issues . He has always had harleys and has recently bought one for about 29k and is prospecting for a motorcycle club/gang. The club does not represent the family values as a whole so that has upset some of us but it put the most tension on my aunt and uncle . They have seperated and the other night she told my cousin that she was going to shoot herself '' with MY beretta '' I had give her . So I get that phone call in the middle of the night and rush over ''only 1.5miles '' and calm her down and get all of the guns out . Uncle G is on his way .... All was getting better till his club buddie came with him ..... The scene that followed would have been banned from cops and springer , hell hath no fury like a woman scorned . He leaves for his life and my dad shows up for my reinforcment . We
    convinced her to go to the special place voluntarily and she did . All seemed fine , she got some medicine had a family meeting with the doc , set up some times for preacher man to come talk with them . She gets released today , all 3 go home , cousin , uncle G and aunt K . He gets a text from his club buddy and it super sonicly goes to hell in a hand basket again . My older aunt , the micro manager cant come down to help , the divorced brother is no help my dad is scared of aunt K and I have 1.5yo twins at home , her son is a whimpy kid with no direction . They live in a decent middle class subdivision and she can get violent quick and if no one is around to keep her calm im sure the police will show up , Im scared if she has to go back it will be invoulintary and the state will own her . She has left her husband with the ultimatium of the club or her , and I have to be involved b/c she watches our kids 3 days a week and now its gotten a bit scary .
    We all grew up southren baptist and I know the Big man upstairs has control , But I feel there is only so much Me and my wife can do right now . It seems that my mother was the only one who could deal with her but right now aunt K has just lost it , 1st mom died , the next monday G-mom died and now her hsband has left her . Just wondering the input from some strangers here on what we should do . I have removed all guns / knives / and medicine from her house but you never know .
     
  2. LONGHAIR

    LONGHAIR New Member

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    Is the Motorcycle club a ..1%..club..???...They are a ruff-bunch....The Motorcycle club always comes first...My older brother is V.P. of a club,but they are what u call a ..13%..club....None territorial...A much more layed back club....A friend of mine,joined a 1%r club and I don't know why...To many Politickes for me just to ride your bike....It seems your doing the right thing in getting all the guns out of the way....GOOD-LUCK...with all that.......
     

  3. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    There is no good solution to this situation except for the aunt to get her head on straight, on her own. if you help her do this then she will be better off, but you WILL piss someone off in the process. find a different babysitter and piss someone off, keep your distance and piss someone off, do nothing and piss someone off... the list goes on. You know more details than us, but it sounds to me like you will have the pick the lesser evil. This uncle, it sounds like he married into the family? He should respect the family, but most importantly he should respect his WIFE.
     
  4. partdeux

    partdeux Well-Known Member

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    What part of taking care of your immediate family are you having trouble with... the rest is all useless inconsequential noise!
     
  5. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    He refuses to talk to her or come home until she gets some '' emotional help'' . when his group has issues hells angles come in to mediate . They are called lords of loyalty , and yea im not going to join a group that tells me what to do either .I dont have a problem helping her , its just hard on me and the wife , for 1 we are half their age with half the experiance and half the advice , No one else in the family feels like they can deal with her . Right now im working on trying to keep her from beating a dead horse , her thoughts and actions are nothing but a circle . Its a mess right now , my mother and father inlaw have also split after 29yrs .. I gave her an acre of land beside me to put a little trailer house on but its worth it '' can we say baby sitter '' ? lol thats the only upside to having a mother inlaw living 100yrds away . I feel like Job in the bible almost :D
     
  6. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    Go find a Hula Hoop. Then:

    1. Place the Hula Hoop on the ground

    2. Step inside the Hula Hoop.

    3. Don't concern yourself with anything outside the Hula Hoop

    These people are adults and are responsible for their own lives. It's good that you care, but you really can't do anything other than removing the weapons and drugs. You've done that. Now it's up to them and God.

    Walk away knowing that it's not in your power to do anything and take care of your family.

    Sadly, I have two sisters and their families whom I no longer have anything to do with. I love them, but I had to choose not to communicate with them or have them in my life. Too much drama, too much ego and too many games. I prefer to live without that stuff.
     
  7. bkt

    bkt New Member

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    That's probably the single most profound and worthy piece of advice you will ever get on any forum anywhere at any time. Pay attention to this guy.

    I would add "...and find someone else to watch your kids three days a week because she's clearly not fit."
     
  8. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    im just now able to stop laughing . I am a firm beleiver in ,,, If you see a situation and know that you can do somthing about then have at it , BUT if you see a situation that you cant influence then there is no need to worry about it b/c you will never change the out come . The fine line is thinking you can help and realizing you cant
     
  9. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    I love the hula hoop idea!!! This is a messed up situation, but that piece of advice about sums it up.
     
  10. partdeux

    partdeux Well-Known Member

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    Good friend of ours has fought this concept for decades... We worked for quite some time to get her to step into the hula hoop, and once she finally did, she went off her blood pressure meds and is a far far happier person. Which I had seen this a year ago :)
     
  11. LONGHAIR

    LONGHAIR New Member

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    What they ...SAID....You can't help some people........
     
  12. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    I was in a similar situation not too long ago. I removed all firearms from the house except for one shotgun that the old man wanted to have "just in case". He had previously begged me to bring him a gun so he could kill himself. I didn't think God would like my involvement in that plan, let alone the old man's participation.

    Anyhow, I removed the firing spring and pin from the shotgun and took them home but left the gun in the house. All other guns and all ammo (including shotgun) I removed. Most of them I removed at an earlier date with his approval and he even signed a notarized paper giving me all of his guns.

    I did what I could to help the old man through it, but my first priority was my immediate family. My wife and kids (his grandchildren).

    Beyond that I was very concerned about him, but I had no control over him whatsoever and no matter how much I disliked his decision to include what I considered to be "Bad" relationships, I could not change that. You have to let that go and leave the situation. When the "Bad" elements enter the scene you must exit it. If you don't things will only escalate from there.

    If there is a substantial inheritance at stake I would advise that you spend it all on lawyers until it is gone. After that the lawyers will quit. Never commit your own personal funds towards an inheritance fight. If in the unlikely event that the liars.... OOOPS, I mean lawyers come to a settlement in your favor and there is some money left then take it gracefully and let it go at that. If the liars/lawyers say that they can "get it back and more" pull the plug.
     
  13. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    Yes, this.........absolutely.
     
  14. LONGHAIR

    LONGHAIR New Member

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    OH...YES...A new Babysitter..For Sure.......
     
  15. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    Grandma is watching them for most of the week but the aunt will watch them at least one day with another adult there with her . As much as she loves seeing them i think it will do some good and get her mind off things
     
  16. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    I missed that your kids are watched by her. That's crazy. Keep those kids away from her care. I would never sacrifice my kids like that.
     
  17. KABAR2

    KABAR2 New Member

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    Not sure how old your uncle is but it sounds like he is going through a mid life crisis and this is his second teenage hood.... playing with motorcycles and hanging with a motorcycle club... don't know if he'll out grow it or not but someone needs to remind him of his responsibilities to his wife and family...
    .
    your aunt is feeling hurt and frustrated through all this she may need to take a step back and try to be a little understanding… what they both need is to sit down with a family counselor and find out what the issues are so they can be settled without WWIII breaking out and it would be better this way so there is less family involvement too many ego’s involved.
     
  18. alsaqr

    alsaqr Well-Known Member Supporter

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    This is the best advice i've ever heard anywhere.
     
  19. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    Well unk told me the other night that he saw the group as a way out , and when aunt k flipped out over that it pushed him further . Supposedly he has felt ill about her attitude for many years and wanted to leave but stayed till cousin turned 21 '' a few weeks ago '' . The fault lies in both for lack of comunication . He now wont speak or see her unless the are metting with the preachers or counseler , and wont even consider moving home till she gets better , all which drives aunt k more into a furry . Im telling .... that woman can be ruthless . She gave away all of his extra harley stuff '' i got it'' selling what guns he left '' a tactical savage 308 bolt , 30-30 lever , marlin 60 , mburg 500 im going to buy for a few hundred . Im trying to get or buy all of his stuff so he can get it back in the future .
    On a different note I got pops 883 sportster this weekend and I can see how this harley thing can get addicting . I find myself wanting to drive it home and to the shop everyday but its hard to fit two babyseats on there