Bat S* Crazy Spouses

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by partdeux, Dec 21, 2017.

  1. kfox75

    kfox75 Well-Known Member Supporter

    Or even health issues.

    Let's face it folks, it's more than just hormonal changes that can affect that aspect of a relationship. Certain medical conditions can make the affects of such things a thousand times worse, or can leave one with a lack of energy, interest, or enthusiasm for activities they once enjoyed far more.

    And no one feels particularly attractive or sexy when seriously ill.

    Sudden traumatic injury can also have such an affect.

    Both are things I know for a fact.

    On the change of life, illness enhancements, my mother was a diabetic when she went through menopause. And yes, just as it is with the normal cycle up to that point, elevated blood sugar does not help when that time comes around. One of the signs most have that it is up, is a far shorter temper.

    I still miss her, and still love her dearly, but, when even the dog decides it's time to run to the garage with you, that says something.

    I also dated a woman who has to have a hysterectomy at age 26, who even after fully healing up, had close to no interest in sex for about a year afterwards. It wasn't a lack of urges, but, as she put it, you don't feel the same afterwards, you don't feel complete, and you find yourself less attractive as a result.

    and she and I both agrre that it also may have had to do with a couple other factors, as the then boyfriend had been cheating on her, even on the day of the surgery, and she had gone through almost a year of chemo and radiation prior to said procedure.

    And here's one to also consider, that most don't know. As men are visual creatures when it comes to being turned on, a severe eye injury, such as losing the sight in one of both, can also be a mental trigger for erectile dysfunction. As can certain meds to treat high blood pressure (Part of the reason things like Viagra and Cialis work is by elevating one's BP) and other medical issues, can also have the same affect.

    Sex should be an enhancement to a healthy relations, but it can never be the sloe basis of one, as once the thrill is gone, and the fire burns out, so does the relationship.
  2. Dallas53

    Dallas53 Well-Known Member

    i agree wholeheartedly Mr. Kfox. there are as many things that can break a marriage as there are that will sustain one.

    people sometimes do change. sometimes they grow apart, instead of growing old together.

    there is no real secrets or science to a lasting marriage. what works for one couple may not work for another. what holds one couple together and the reason they satay together may not be what would work for another couple.

    each couple needs to find out what works, or doesn't for themselves.

    i do know that love just by itself will not sustain a marriage. it's a very important part for sure, but by itself, i'm pretty sure a marriage isn't going to last for long time.

    i love my wife with all my heart, and i'd kill or die for her without a seconds hesitation. i'd defend her honor to my last breath, and fight anyone who disrespected her. but that love alone doesn't keep us going. we are friends as well. we can talk about anything and sometimes even nothing. we keep no secrets from each other. we never tell one another what we can, or can' do. we have implicit trust in each other. i can count on one hand how many people i have complete and unwaivering trust in, and she is one of them.
    winds-of-change, c3shooter and kfox75 like this.

  3. partdeux

    partdeux Well-Known Member

    We were at a Hockey Game last night, and a young lady behind us said, you guys are so cute together. Seemed like an interesting comment to make to complete strangers, but we enjoy being together.
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  4. Dallas53

    Dallas53 Well-Known Member

    what people see, even complete strangers, are two people who are happy being together. it shows, and people can see it. i'm pretty sure many others see it, but never say anything.
    winds-of-change and kfox75 like this.
  5. formerCav

    formerCav Active Member

    years ago I had a girlfriend who had a hysterectomy and she was the hottest lady I ever had in bed.
    Only problem was, she had a TEMPER to match... HOT very very HOT!
    JimRau likes this.
  6. Hookeye

    Hookeye Well-Known Member

    Mine's acting a bit strange.......stranger than normal LOL.
    Suppose I'll find out what's what....when I come home and a bunch of stuff is gone.

    Not totally without feeling.......proly always something there, since been together 20 plus yrs and have 3 kids. Not sure it's enough. Was married for over a decade, and she split. Came back later, been another decade.........not married.

    I'm not the jealous type, and don't keep tabs on her. We both work and with kids in college plus medical stuff.........heck we needed a NASCAR pit crew the last 5 yrs.

    Free to go whenever, but the rule have to go first, then look for something else. None of that "change horses midstream" crap.

    Eh, the reloading gear will either stay in the garage, or get moved into one of the bedrooms..........see what happens.

    I REFUSE to have ANY woman hurt me like before. And I won't tolerate any BS........been pretty dang smooth the last decade. Will be the next, if she's here or gone, or anyone else comes along.
  7. kfox75

    kfox75 Well-Known Member Supporter

    Pretty much what i was going to say Dallas.

    PD. My parents, if you include the time hanging out as friends and then dating, along with the engagement and then marriage, were together for close to 40 years, married for 32 of it. When we would go places with them, they still acted much the same as they did in their teens, both sitting together at the booth we sat at, walking arm in arm or hand and hand, thiungs along those lines.

    More than once, people would say the same about them, as what the person said of you and your wife.
    buckhuntr and Dallas53 like this.
  8. formerCav

    formerCav Active Member

    we were "nestling" on the sofa one day and a couple of my wife's college roommates came out to visit.
    One of them looked at us and said "oh, isn't that sweet".
    you could tell she wished she had that.
    I'm truly blessed after 37 yrs.
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  9. JimRau

    JimRau Well-Known Member Supporter

    After about 5 years 'without' I found a young lady and we are a 'good fit'! I am now smiling A LOT! :cool:
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  10. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

    That’s wonderful. I found Balota after 20 years alone.
    JimRau, locutus, kfox75 and 1 other person like this.
  11. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

    Yeah, my spouse is bat**** crazy. He married ME!
    JimRau, Balota, kfox75 and 1 other person like this.
  12. SRK97

    SRK97 Well-Known Member Supporter

    I'm bad at picking them or maybe their bad at picking me. Last one who wanted to date me was extremely attractive. But also nuts, tried to OD twice on aspirin, after I told here I wasn't really interested she picked up a nice cocaine habit.

    This week I started college again, in front of me was a very pretty girl. As the teacher was calling roll I heard her name and immediately knew who she was and she knew who I was. We used to hang out as kids at her grandma's spearfishing or just walking the crick. Her grandma is a 88 year old widow who I have always taken care of(firewood and whatnot). We also went to elementary school together. Anyway she told me she was very interested in hanging out again and I told her it yes. A few days pass and someone tells me she's got a history of being all strung out on drugs and whatnot.

    Man I know how to pick em. Still want to hang out with the second one though.
    winds-of-change likes this.
  13. Rentacop

    Rentacop Well-Known Member

    I feel your pain ! Young women and drugs sometimes seem to be a package deal . A friend warned me that heroin addicts will " do anything " to get heroin and cocaine addicts will " steal from anyone " to get cocaine . Be careful .
  14. kfox75

    kfox75 Well-Known Member Supporter

    Given that it's second hand information, I'd say take it with a grain of salt.

    It could very well be that said person who told you about the drug use is trying to scare you off from here, due to being interested them self. I saw keep it casual, and observe, then make up your mind on it.

    IOW, believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.

    If I had gone on what I heard 15 years ago from the local rumor mill, I would not have been married for the last 12, and would not have the daughter I I have either. More than a few "Friends" tried to split up pretty much every match their other friends made for some unknown reason.

    And I was also the subject of more than a few rumors in thast time. Here are a few of them:

    Whi;le he and _____ always hug when they see each other, so SOMETHING must be gong on. (Yes, something was. Each one of those women were like sisters to me, and that was just how we said hello, as we rarely got to see each other anymore.)

    While, she must have moved in with him\married him because she's pregnant. (15 years later, still no kid. talk about a LONG gestation period.....)

    Well, he always hangs out with _____, who's gay. That must make him Gay. (WTF? Really?! Dude, I slept with your sister, more than once!

    And yes, I did say that to him, face to face.)

    Well, he says he has no kids, but I have seen at least 6 that look at him and call him dad. He must be lying. (Yes, I do have a few that call me dad, not counting my step-daughter. One of them is my godson, who I have been part of his life since he first joined this world. Hell, I cut the cord, and was there in the delivery room because his "Real" father ran when he found out she was pregnant! So yes, in his case, I might as well be dad, because I have been there since day one.

    others, it is a case of most of the time, my daughter, and her friends call the host parents mom and dad at get togethers, as they, like I am with my friends, are more like family than friends.)

    Well, he changes girlfriends more often than I change my underwear. (Ya think? Could it have something to do with the fact that I will do what I am asked to do, or try my hardeest to, but I tend to tell them to go pound sand when they try to ORDER me to do something? Most walked off at that point, after telling me it was over, and I personally say good f#@%ing riddance.

    My WIFE doesn't talk to me that way, my ex didn't, and even my PARENTS never did, so I don't take that $#!+ from anyone.)

    Well, he's an @$$hole. (Yes. I am. Thank you for noticing. I'll even thank you, and shake your hand if you have the b@lls to walk up to me, and say that to my face.)

    Like I said, don't put full faith in what others say. Watch for signs and patterns, and always confirm it for yourself. Sometimes folks say things because they have self serving motives. maybe to try to hide their intent, or even their own actions (Such as how does this person know she's always strung out on drugs? Did they just hear it, or were they rhere using as well, as chances are, that's about the only way they could know that for a fact, and not just speculation. ;))

    As to the always picking the wrong one, that's the only way you can find the right one. The trik is, to have fun with the wrong ones, and use it as a learning experience, to help you find the right one when she (or he, as BSC Spouses can be either one) shows up, and what not to do if you want to keep her around.

    And even most of my wrong ones, leading to where I am now, were not really wrong, but they weren't quite right either. I just found on that was the right fit, and has a lot of my own personality. here's the trick.

    For me, I don't need others around. I could go for a year, alone, no one else there, and still be content. However, there are people I choose to have around me.

    She's the same way. That's why it works. Either one of us could do just fine on our own, but we do better together. neither one of us needs the other there, but we both choose to have each other there.

    It took me 27 years to find the right one, so don't rush it, and don't go looking for it. When you do, you miss the fact that, chances are, she's been there all along.

    We have been together for 15 years, married for 11, and have known each other for 27 years. It just took 12 of those years for everything to fall into place.
    BK3220, AZdave and SRK97 like this.
  15. locutus

    locutus Well-Known Member Supporter

    A young officer I worked with years ago unexpectedly submitted his resignation from the dept.
    He was scheduled for a two week training school in another city.
    His wife told him that leaving her alone for two weeks constituted desertion, and she wouldn't be there when he got back, but the divorce papers would.

    The assistant chief allowed him to transfer to records as a clerk.

    Talk about batsh!t crazy!!!!
  16. tinbucket

    tinbucket Well-Known Member

    I' glad I din't get in this, I don't think I did anyway back a few pages.
    Wife wears shoes, now and has gun and knows how to use it.There ain't no way you going to win on this Fellers.
    Just Jesting my wife, I don't ever recall being *****y, and she isn't standing behind me watching me type.
    I had a woman work for once that it was a tribulation though. One week a month she cried and went on steady. I spent a lot of time with my door closed.
  17. kfox75

    kfox75 Well-Known Member Supporter

    I say that about mine, all the time.

    I remember once, many years ago, when my ex made a comment about some of my family members, to which my reply was:

    "i was born into this, you had a choice."
    AZdave likes this.
  18. JimRau

    JimRau Well-Known Member Supporter

    Good one young lady!!!!;)
    winds-of-change likes this.
  19. AzShooter

    AzShooter Active Member

    Try living with a person with Bi-Polar. You never know what they are going to be like from minute to minute.
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