Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by diggsbakes, Feb 10, 2010.

  1. diggsbakes

    diggsbakes New Member

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    Here is a little test that will help you decide.
    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a
    deserted street with your wife
    and two small children.

    Suddenly, an Islamic
    Terrorist with a huge knife
    comes around the corner,
    locks eyes with you,
    screams obscenities, praises
    Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a
    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere s econds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?

    ..............................................................
    THINK CAREFULLY AND
    THEN SCROLL DOWN:

    Democrat's
    Answer :


    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him
    that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
    hand?
    What does the law say about
    this situation?
    Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
    of message does this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be
    happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was
    stabbing me?
    Should I call
    9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier,
    healthier street that would discourage such behavior..
    This is all so confusing!
    I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a
    consensus.

    ................................................................

    Republican's
    Answer:

    BANG!


    ................................................................

    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG !
    Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click
    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!
    Were those the Winchester
    Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '
    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
     
  2. hunter Joe

    hunter Joe New Member

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    Oh I wish I were In Dixie.
     

  3. NGIB

    NGIB New Member

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    I'm always glad I left the North in 1972...
     
  4. suprdave

    suprdave New Member

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    Southern by the grace of God...
     
  5. Car54

    Car54 New Member

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    I'm whistling Dixie as I type......
     
  6. junho806

    junho806 New Member

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    Livin in the deep south
    ;)
     
  7. Gojubrian

    Gojubrian New Member

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  8. NYPD13

    NYPD13 New Member

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    That was great, I need to move.
     
  9. MoHawk

    MoHawk New Member

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    I'll take either Republican or Southerner. I had always been told VA was a southern state but never really believed it until I'd lived here for a bit. VA is SOUTHERN! And so am I.
     
  10. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    I'm an Independent. I believe that more is always better. :cool:
     
  11. zhuk

    zhuk New Member

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    Ha that was awesome! Enjoyed on a purely hypothetical level :rolleyes:
     
  12. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

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    Sure VA is southern, it's below the Manson/Nixon line isn't it?
     
  13. diggsbakes

    diggsbakes New Member

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    I'm currently displaced, the only thing I don't miss is the heat. . . but we don't have it too bad here in The Rockies though. ;)
     
  14. Jpyle

    Jpyle New Member

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    That all just proves that we yankees are better shots than y'all southerners. We getter done with one!
     
  15. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    I caught it. ;)
     
  16. Dzscubie

    Dzscubie New Member

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    Yep, a Yankee will take one look at the terrorist stick the barrel of his Kimber in his mouth and pull the trigger.... bang.... one shot and it's done..:D
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2010
  17. TheOldMan

    TheOldMan New Member

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    No better place to be.
     
  18. orangello

    orangello New Member

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    Heat? What heat? ;)

    First it's gitterdone, second would you know how to field dress it?
    j/k :D
     
  19. junho806

    junho806 New Member

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    Amen to that!
    Hello there fellow Georgian!
    :D
     
  20. TheOldMan

    TheOldMan New Member

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    Well hello to you as well young lady;)