I keep a S&W MP 9mm compact in my car (and occassionally carry it) and don't like that it takes two hands to make it ready (rack the slide) and I don't like keeping it in a ready-state where only a slight tug on the trigger fires the weapon. Can any of you recommend a good CCW that has at least a decocker and preferrably also a manual safety? I would like at least a 9mm and preferably of equal or less size than what I have.
One option is to keep the gun in a holster, but that will most likely result in your needing two-hands to bring the weapon into play unless you mount the holster in your car where it is accessible. If you just put it in a holster and then in the center console (or whatever) then you'll have to pull the holster off. You could just as easily cycle the action like you're doing now.
It seems you're concerned about negligent discharge because of the exposed trigger, so another option is to move to a gun with a heavier double action trigger pull like Mark F suggests. Traditional Sig Sauer pistols are a good choice in this category. They have a heavy first trigger pull, followed by lighter single-action followup shots. They have a decocker to lower the cocked hammer, and no manual safety.
Finally, guns with manual safeties that you have to disengage are what you actually asked about. JD's suggestion of a commander length 1911 pistol is excellent, and actually offers you several options. The traditional 1911 is a single-action design (hammer cocked to fire), so you can carry hammer down on empty chamber (what you're already doing), hammer down on live chamber (not a good idea), or hammer cocked with the manual thumb safety activated (my preference). Hammer down on a live chamber is the worst option, because you have to manually ride the hammer, presenting opportunity for misfire. The choice of most professionals for 1911 carry is the cocked & locked variant. The shooting hand's thumb pushes down on the safety to disengage it, and can easily push back up to engage the safety.
If you aren't comfortable with the 1911 for whatever reason, there are other firearms with manual safeties that you can consider. I personally think the thumb safety of the 1911 is the best, and the thumb safety concept has been copied on the HK USP, as well as versions of the Springfield XD and the Smith M&P. You might check into those as well.
M&P 9C with thumb safety.
Springfield XD Thumb Safety