a bit of satire

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by lfcshooter, Feb 14, 2013.

  1. lfcshooter

    lfcshooter New Member

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    Here's a post I stumbled across which you may find amusing regarding different types of policing:

    The difference between a British, an Australian, and an American Police Officer

    The British Police Officer


    Question: How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

    Answer: First - Lets pose the following question:

    You're on duty by yourself walking on a deserted street late at night. Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and lunges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot, however you have only a split second to react before he reaches you.

    What do you do?

    BRITISH POLICE OFFICER:

    Firstly the officer must consider the man's Human Rights. 1) Does the man look poor or oppressed? 2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law? 3) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? 4) Am I dressed provocatively? 5) Could I run away? 6) Could I possibly swing my gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? 7) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong doings? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? 9) Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society? 10) Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? 11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me? 12) If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself? . 13) If I shoot and wound him, and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?

    AUSTRALIAN POLICE OFFICER:

    BANG!

    AMERICAN POLICE OFFICER:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! 'click'.... (Sergeant arrives at scene later and remarks: 'Nice grouping!)
     
  2. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    After the click there's usually the sound of another magazine being loaded and then more bangs. ;)
     

  3. steve666

    steve666 New Member

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    And after 3 or 4 mags being fired the BG goes down with MAYBE 2 hits!!!
     
  4. JTJ

    JTJ Well-Known Member Supporter

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    The Australians are either better shots or too slow the get more than one off before getting stabbed.
     
  5. danf_fl

    danf_fl Retired Supporter

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    And don't forget about starting campfires with teargas!