Hang on a sec...let me put on my fire proof suit here for a sec...
First, ask yourself why, over so many years, has so many articles, so many tests, so many videos been made to discuss, test, and show "proof" that all of these various pistol cartridges and bullet designs matter so much? Why are companies working so hard to create all these new whizzbang bullets in the mainstream pistol cartridges?
The answer is simply that the mainstream pistol rounds, 9mm, 380, 40 S&W, 45 ACP, etc are weak from a ballistic perspective. Indeed, one is not significantly better than the other in performance...and that is backed by years of statistics on gun shot wounding and deaths.
In terms of pistols, shot placement plays a far bigger role than caliber. You even alluded to it when you mentioned putting one in their noggin. In fact, the entire debate over "stopping power" has been something that has raged on since guns were invented. I know the Miami-Dade event is one that is often brought up when discussing pistol calibers, but the conclusions there were narrow and based to some degree on a lot of "ifs."
There are plenty of videos and cases of people hit multiple times with all the pistol calibers that kept on fighting. Why? In most cases, they eventually do stop, but the stop isn't immediate. Even mortally wounded they can continue to fight and that is where the issue lies. Realistically, the only "one shot stop" you're likely to make with a pistol is a head shot. That, however, brings in other factors. How likely are you to make that shot vs a center mass shot? What's better? A shot or two in the body or a couple misses at a head shot? This is why when I practice defensive shooting, my regimen is two center mass, one to the head, rinse and repeat until the threat stops or I run out of bullets.