The Parent thread

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by MobileMarine, Mar 5, 2014.

  1. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    Don't think I have seen a thread yet dedicated to being a mom or dad and the joys / horrors of raising kids . A spot to go for parenting advice or ideas , some of us may have little know how . I for one am a father of almost 4yo twins boy/girl and its very tough sometimes , my main source would have been my mother but we lost her 3 months before mine were born . My MIL is a air head , my dad well , may encourage their bad behaviors just to get back at me . So sometimes we may looks to others for all the surprises we encounter as parents and also to share some stories .

    For instance , right now , my daughter seems to have woken up with a negative IQ one morning , she is very smart , has excellent vocab but just does the most stupidest things and whats worse is she knows better . Also at 4 yo she has become the ultimate master of ignoring someone .
    I am 31 and I already have more gray hair than my 56yo dad '' actual fact ''
    Last night at 2:30 in the morning my son goes ape crazy , screaming , hitting ect ect , For what you may ask ?
    some toast
    o_0*
     
  2. Steel_Talon

    Steel_Talon New Member

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    My best advise is to keep yourself in check.. Always strive to be the calming influence.. Make sure your kids have a set of steady parameters to work with in and always that they have a since of "Place" with in the family... Insist on creating family traditions as you all grow together annual fishing trips, thanksgiving tradition, cutting a live tree down for Christmas.. ETC..... Eat dinner at the table and have laughter and discussion.

    Never compare your children to each other or other family children, teach your daughter as you would your son. Fathers who instill self-esteem into their children (girls esp.) have strong adult children.

    Happy, Healthy, Self Sustaining with a sense of charity.

    I have six, college to 4th grade with a set of twin girls in their Jr. year of high school....
     

  3. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    Dude, my six year old niece likes to use the ignore feature in real life.

    Wanna see a fat hairy redneck go drill insttructor on a little girl? That pushes me right to my limit. Pisses me off beyond belief that her parents tolerate it. They do until I say something anyway, then it's like a lightbulb comes on, "oh, wait, she really IS being disrepectful as hell."
     
  4. Mercator

    Mercator New Member

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    You did not mention your wife, is she there to handle it?
     
  5. kytowboater

    kytowboater New Member

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    Oh boy MM. My oldest is 3.5 years. I hope she stays decently calm the way she is. Don't get me wrong she goes crazy screams and cries and throws things when she doesn't get her way. But she sleeps! lol


    ~ Get your tools and meet me on tow princess!~
     
  6. Apyl

    Apyl New Member

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    I am 33 and have three ages 12, 7, and 5 plus three step-kids ages 17, 14, and 12 with two being special needs. Luckily we have not had to deal with the middle of the night tantrums. As for ignoring, yeah that lasted but a whole two minutes. I have zero tolerance for disrepect with my kids, when I say something or ask them something they give me their attention or they loose whatever had their attention.

    Our biggest issue right now is time managment. This week we had wrestling on Monday, Spring Carnival on thursday ( I am also the 4-H leader so we host a booth at the carnival), wrestling tournaments Saturday, 4-H bowling on Sunday. I also am the county Poultry project leader so host county wide meetings on top of the local club meetings and activites. And of course my oldest being 12yo wants to have friends over or her go to their houses. Since we live in a rural wooded area she cant just ride her bike, so I am also a taxi service at times.
     
  7. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    My wife does nto keep her cool nearly half as much as I do . But I am the one taking them in the morning and about half the time I end up picking them up .
    Big issue we have is them not having any patience . My girl will just throw a fit but my son will tear stuff up , if he does not have anything in his hand to throw he will find something or bite his arm and that when I pin him down and get in his face .
    ALMOST wondering if they have a issue since they were a bit early , he did not come home till he was 6 months old and has sleep apnea . I work around special needs kids '' I hate calling them that '' but 90% of them listen better and act better than mine do .
    When one gets upset it makes the other one happy , and they just feed and feed off of each other .
    I think its mostly our fault on his part b/c his fits are so bad we just give in sometimes to avoid his epic * fits , ill video one and show you guys so you can understand what I am talking about
     
  8. purehavoc

    purehavoc New Member

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    I have a almost 16 yr old and a 10 yr old . the almost 16 yr old knows not to push me to the limits . He likes to take me right to the edge but knows when to back down before he looses anything of value like cell phone, internet service, cable , etc . The 10 yr old on the other hand just wont quit , I take more stuff from him than you could ever imagine . He complains about not liking what we have made for dinner , Guess what you eat or you go hungry in our house . I dont play that game . We are constantly running all time, Baseball, basketball, soccer, Piano, you name it were doing it . When the wife and I do finally get time away from the kids it seems to be to go grocery shopping for about 3 hrs. I have had a fun and great time with my kids but I really cant wait until they both get their own places. My youngest would like to rent one of those utility type sheds with a loft and a front porch to move into . Im seriously thinking it might be worth it . :D JK on that one
     
  9. Mercator

    Mercator New Member

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    MM- You are a good parent for taking responsibility, but that stuff is not necessarily your fault. It is time to seek counseling. Especially for your son, have them rule out medical issues - autism, attention deficit, depression and such. When it's brain chemistry, most adults have a hard time staying even keel. I am not a specialist, just a fellow parent. There are state run programs that pay for childhood therapy. Don't delay, and don't see this as a personal or parental failure. Do what's right for them.
     
  10. Quentin

    Quentin New Member

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    I never had kids. Probably the smartest lifestyle choice I ever made, over careers, women, everything!

    I know it's not for everyone but for me it was the right choice, even though it cost me a marriage in my twenties.
     
  11. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    Trust me, you made the right choice. Having kids is NOT something you should be talked into, coerced into, guilted into, any of that. If you don't WANT kids, then you don't need kids. I totally respect your decision and choice to not have any.
     
  12. Rick1967

    Rick1967 Active Member

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    I have a 24 year old daughter a 15 year old son and a 28 year old step daughter. I also have grand children. I have never been afraid to spank my children. A swat on the butt is not abuse. Children need to have boundaries. You do not spank teenagers. That stops when they become able to truly understand the consequences of their actions. You will know when the XBOX or PS4 is more effective than a spanking. The day before yesterday my son decided to be disrespectful and run his mouth a little. My wife simply told him that he was done playing XBOX for the rest of the night and the next day. He immediately shut his mouth. The XBOX is his life! The rest of the night and most of the next day he was the nicest teenager you ever met. She let him play a few hours before bed on that second night. So he got out early for good behavior.

    And always remember...pick your battles. There will be plenty of important issues. Ignore the stupid ones. Never allow disrespect.
     
  13. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    Negative on ANY state programs and hesitant on the docs '' long story '' .
    I think both are fine as when they are not throwing fits they are well spoken and smart , HE does not know how to handle the word no .
    SHE is just a idiot sometimes
    The other night she got on the table at 12:30 and just pissed , pants off , pull ups off . Just baffled me .
    Both were potty trained but she has regressed some for some stupid reason .
    He is VERY VERY VERY picky about what he eats and wears , if its slightly different he wont have it . Almost like he is MAJOR OCD , everything has to be a certain way . I have to set the tv remote down in a certain spot or he will go off.
    Also going through that dreaded '' IM SCARED'' stage , like , of what ? its the middle of the day and all the lights are on ?
     
  14. Quentin

    Quentin New Member

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    There is a lot of that, your own parents strongly inquire WHEN ARE YOU going to have kids, also your friends, coworkers, everyone. A surprising amount of pressure though it's usually subtle. And even though I'd had a vasectomy at 28, before I got married, my wife's internal clock began ticking and she couldn't live a childless life so there was no option except divorce, fortunately amicable.
     
  15. foot2400

    foot2400 New Member

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    MM I also have twin boy and girl they are 2yr and 3mo then we also have a 6mo old. I know a thing or to about being overwhelmed and stressed to the max lol. But over all I must say that my wife and I have pretty good kids. She is a stay at home super mom. I've noticed that my mood kind of sets the tone when I get home from work. If I come home mad at the world they all sense it and the rest of the night is shot. But if I came home kiss the wife then give each kid their own one on one time the rest of the night is awesome. Having kids is probably my greatest accomplishment. My twins are completely different from each other in looks and attitude. He is a mini me and she is a miniature version of her mom. My 6mo is a boy also and he looks like both of us. It's pretty cool how it all worked out.
     
  16. hawkguy

    hawkguy Active Member

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    my best advice to date:

    marry an amazing woman.

    love your children more than yourself.

    it hurts to discipline your kids, but if you don't discipline them, you are REALLY hurting them.

    love is spelled T-I-M-E to a small child. spending time with your kids is the best thing you never have to buy them.

    when you have an infant, check out the book "baby wise" and follow it to a tee....IF you like sleeping. ;)

    WTH do i know? i'm still trying to figure it out! :p
     
  17. 303tom

    303tom New Member

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    This is all I got to say on parenting................Proverbs 13:24.
     
  18. therewolf

    therewolf New Member

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    Raised 1 daughter. Honors Student through school. Graduated with

    honors from college.

    1. Your children WILL have your attention. GIVE it to them, or they

    will take it.

    2. Carry them as often as you can. You build a strong bond, and the day

    will come, only too soon, when you can carry them no more.

    3. Frozen Eggo Waffles work great when they are teething.

    4. A set bedtime ritual, like a story, makes them much more likely

    to get to sleep on time.

    5. "Discipline", like "diet", is a noun, not a verb...;)
     
  19. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    The worst punishment for a child is no punishment at all .
    Me and the wife often call them out and with a bit of reverse psychology get them to listen . My wife is way more stressed over them than I am but my mom was the same way , hell I have a few scars where she threw something and hit me but when it comes time to get their attention when their bad , more so him , I usually have to pick him up and , not really body slamm but I put him on his back on the sofa or bed , pin him down and when he calms down a bit I explain to him what he did wrong .
    It just seems like we cant get anywhere with them over their tempers .
    Both are trying to be independent , even cooking their own food but when we wont let them use a hot stove or when they cant figure it out they just loose thier minds .
    Our biggest task right now boils down to tempers and patience


    Had my mom not been sick and dying we would have waited about a year to have kids . Cant say if we were really ready to have to kids but we got married so mom could be there then started on kids right away just to have her die 3 months before . There is no regrets on having them but the whole thing in a certain way turned into a epic Greek tragedy . Whole reason we rushed into it was for her to have grandkids before she died
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2014
  20. therewolf

    therewolf New Member

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    ---Try not to "babysit". Get involved in what they are doing,

    or, better yet, get them involved in what you are

    doing.

    Case in point:-"A Tale of Two Supermarkets"

    My Ex and her friend went to the supermarket and took

    my daughter along. They had a terrible time, couldn't handle

    my daughter-"she destroyed the place", etc.

    The next week they thought it would be funny to saddle me

    with my daughter on a supermarket trip. I gave my daughter

    a role to play, picking things out, organizing the cart, catching

    things as I threw them to her (NOT cans, DUH) and helping in

    general. OKAY, as we were playing "dragster", things might have

    gotten a little out of hand by "fourth gear", (running full blast down

    aisle #2, almost had a collision) but the point is I paid attention

    to her, rather than a bunch of inanimate food packages, and

    we had a great time.;)