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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

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Old 06-30-2010, 03:52 AM   #1
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Talking Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you...

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

* Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

* Does the man look poor or oppressed?

* Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

* Could we run away?

* What does my wife think?

* What about the kids?

* Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

* What does the law say about this situation?

* Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

* Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

* Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

* Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
* If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

* Should I call 9-1-1?

* Why is this street so deserted?

* We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

* Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

* I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

* This is all so confusing!

Republican's Answer:


Redneck's Answer:


Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!' 'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!'
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Old 06-30-2010, 04:02 AM   #2
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Good one! I like that.
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Old 06-30-2010, 04:04 AM   #3
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I wasn't aware of it, but apparently, I can be an Italian redneck from Brooklyn,
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”Samuel Adams
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Old 06-30-2010, 04:26 AM   #4
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A year or two old, but still funny.
BN-Life - NRA
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I'm not worried about terrorism, I was married, TWICE!
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Old 06-30-2010, 04:54 AM   #5
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All those bangs..Must have slammed a fresh mag...heh
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
Thomas Jefferson
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Old 06-30-2010, 04:56 AM   #6
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always a good one
we're Americans and we pray for peace, and if we can't have peace we find and destroy the people who screwed up the damn peace. So we can have some peace. - Christopher Titus
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Old 06-30-2010, 05:04 AM   #7
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An oldie but a goodie.

Btw, not Chris Titus anti-gun? Just curious as I don't know for 100% fact on that, but...
From C3Shooter:
Skullcrusher, you are evil, sick, demented, twisted- and my hero!

Originally Posted by pandamonium View Post
...without the Second, we cannot protect the rest!
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Old 06-30-2010, 06:22 AM   #8
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Definitly a good one, I MUST be a Jersey redneck!

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

The two enemies of the people are criminals and government, so let us tie the second down with the chains of the Constitution so the second will not become the legalized version of the first. Thomas Jefferson
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Old 06-30-2010, 07:23 AM   #9
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Funny and true.

BEWARE!!! The toes you step on today may be connected to the ass you kiss tomorrow.

PM Tango about his upcoming SHARTFOO courses.
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Old 06-30-2010, 01:07 PM   #10
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Yep, I am definitely a redneck
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