Doc: "Do you have any guns in your house?"
Me: "Oh my God! I've got something terminal, don't I?!"
Doc: "Um, why do you ask that?"
Me: "Seriously doc, how long do I have? Days? Months? Level with me."
Doc: "Whoa there Vikingdad! What the Hell? I simply asked if you have any guns in the house. What are you talking about?"
Me: "Look Doc, I know the statistics. More people die early from their own guns if they have guns in their house than from natural causes. If I have a terminal disease I figure you are prescribing that I get a gun so I won't suffer in pain. Give it to me straight Doc. How much time do I have?"