HAHAHA this is my kind of thread as I am a recoil junkie.
I feel the .40 is snappy compared to 9mm/.40/.45 in a pistol, it just wants to lift the muzzle up more for me. The 9mm is going to be the lightest of the felt recoils, then the .40 but the snap is a down side for many, then the .45 which hits hard but the recoil is very easily managed so second shot on target is easily very quick. The .45 gives you the percussion that you can feel deep down in your bones and a ear to ear grin that you just can't knock off with a sledge hammer.
All of this can be changed if you play with the barrel length or type of gun used or even the ammo used, but if you fire all of these out of relatively the same style gun with the same barrel length and somewhat similar ammo you should see what I am saying.