After getting over all the school work, home work and beating up of my brain for college I figured I deserved a day off at the range. So I called up my buddy Lloyd and suggested we pop some caps.
Lloyd shows up bright and early Friday morning and we start loading guns into Sarges jeep. First the rifles, 5 rifles, two boxes of ammo for each rifle, cleaning rod, cleaning cradle, bench rest for rifles, spotting scope, range box full of targets and staplers. "Any more Sarge? Lloyd asks.
"Yeh need a tripod for the spotting scope and then we can start with the pistols."
"Pistols?" how many guns are we taking?" Lloyd asks. "Enough to shoot all day, here is the 2 wheeler, get that crate of 7.62x51 NATO ammo out of the garage." says Sarge
"Jeesss Sarge are we going to war?" asks Lloyd.
"I'm glad you mentioned that lets take some C- Rations too and grab a couple of those ear muffs off the rack." rejoined Sarge.
"OK now lets get your gun packed in and head for the range."
Sarge backs the Jeep out, then reverses and drives back in the drive way.
"Now what are we doing, Sarge?" asks Lloyd.
"Maybe we should put a little more air in the Jeep tires, that ammo is bogging us down a little. There 40 lbs got them up off the sidewalls. Lets go!"
"Ahhh got the whole range to ourselves. Start unloading." 30 min. later "Sarge, how come I got to unload all the Jeep and all you do is put the targets up?" complains Lloyd.
"Well my buddy, it is like this. You have to have years of experience to get the target up right. You put it just a little off center and your shots will not hit the middle. You do want to sight that little rifle of yours so it hits the middle don't you?"
"Yeh, I guess you know what you are doing. You going to help me sight my rifle in?" asks Lloyd
"No sweat my friend I will get that puppy sighted in perfectly or until you run out of the ammo you brought which ever happens first."
" What are we going to shoot first Sarge?" asks Lloyd
"Well let's start with my buddy gun."
" Buddy Gun? What is a buddy gun?" questions Lloyd.
" Well a buddy gun is one you load up and then hand it to your buddy and say 'Here you shoot it first,' that is what a buddy gun is, now take this Winchester .458, this here is a true buddy gun. It is loaded up now so Here you shoot it first."
"OK" Lloyd draws down on the target and.......
"Well I bet that was a little surprise after you being used to your 30-30 Win, here let me help you up. Your glasses are somewhere around here."
We got lots of ammo for this baby so just go ahead and shoot to your hearts content. says Sarge
"Well you did a good job there Lloyd except for that one shot that hit that tree over there you kept most of them on the berm."
"Your 30-30 is all sighted in for you, next time bring more than 4 boxes of ammo OK?"
"Now lets go to the pistol range and shoot some fun guns."
"Now I know you are used to your .22 pistol but this here is the real man's gun. A Colt 45 acp Combat Commander. It is a little smaller than the big full sized Colt automatic but don't let that worry you, smaller gun means smaller kick. Now let me load up a clip of hard ball for you and you can see if you can hit that target at 25 yards."
"This isn't a buddy gun is it Sarge?" queries Lloyd.
"Of course not my friend this is a man's gun just like I said. You can handle it. Uhhh probably ought to use both hands and stand a little further away from me. OK" "Right Sarge, you sure know a lot about guns. Where is the safety? "
"Right here, OOOPPPS had your finger on the trigger didn't you? Boy I bet that smarts!! There is a first Aid kit in the Jeep, I'll just shoot your .22 pistol for a while while you get bandaged up.
"OK now all ready again?" That is your target up there, just line the sights up, wait till I get behind something, and touch it off!"
" Hey see I knew you could do it!" knocked your hat right off didn't it. Well doesn't look like it broke the skin, so you don't need the first aid kit again. OK now this time use both hands and stretch them out away from your face, yeh that is better, stop shaking, it won't hurt."
OK have at...... well not to bad but we should be hitting the target not the ground, try it again. Hey that was closer another couple of clips and you should be to the bottom of the target frame. Keep it up, you got any more .22 ammo?
Well Lloyd you might have to go down a little from a 45 to start, I have here a .38 Super. smaller bullet, smaller kick. A 147 gr FMJ at 1400 fps ought to be a ***** cat to shoot. I have been working up this load for weeks but never got up the nerve to shoot it. So you are going to be the privileged one.
"How was that, by golly that brass case can really hit you can't it. A little hot too, is that your shirt smoking?
Here try putting it out with this coffee. I'll get the first aid kit."
"Sorry, it was the only thing I had that was wet, burned a little didn't it. That is what I like hot hot coffee, you really get the flavor when it is boiling hot. Yeh, but I don't know what you are complaining about, it put the fire out didn't it?"
"Well Lloyd it is time to quit, we are all out of the ammo you brought. Next time you should consider bringing more. How did you like your first day at the range? Here let me help you with that rifle it is hard to carry it with your hands all bandaged. And can you see alright to make it to the door? Most of the swelling seems to be going down. Yeh so long to you too Lloyd hope you can come again."
Sarge happily drives on home satisfied that he has started another fellow man on the way to a wonderful fun filled hobby.
OK you guys don't jump all over me. This is actually a spoof. My buddy Lloyd is an accomplished shooter and hunter. He can shoot most any gun made and can out shoot me when it comes to rifles. (I got him on pistols tho) The reason I wrote this you will soon see.
After this was published I sent a copy of it to Lloyd and in a few days my phone rang. It was Lloyd. When I picked up the phone all I heard was laughing, good belly laughing and finally he sputtered and choked to a stop and said, "You ornry sidewinder, snake in the grass, there ain't a day that I couldn't out shoot you with any gun."
"So you liked the story huh? Sarge asked.
"Yeah it was great, brings back a lot of shooting memories Sarge." Said Lloyd. So the two old friends talked for a half an hour or so and then Lloyd said he had to go, he was getting tired and Sarge reluctantly rang off.
In a couple of days Sarge was on his way to Alaska for a year of work on the pipe line. Less than a month later Lt. Linda called him and told him that Lloyd had died. He had fought that cancer for over a year but it finally got him. For Sarge he will miss his friend greatly,but will always remember the last conversation they had and the great big belly laugh that Lloyd managed to get even though he was in lots of pain. And that was the way Sarge wanted to remember him. Laughing and reminiscing about our hunting and shooting trips.