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Old 03-20-2013, 03:12 AM   #11
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Back in da Nam, man. It was hot! HOT, I tell you! 120% humidity in the shade!! Hot! Damn hot! In da jungle outside some stinkin' ville. Goin' in by chopper. Hit an iceberg and crashed in 12 minutes. It was HOT!! Only survivor cos I was piloting the Huey by myself. Hurt my left ankle jumping for the life raft! Army spent $650,000,000 training me to use every weapon system ever developed by anyone!! I was a lethal weapon, my hands registered with the EPA! Loved that chopper!! Who in the hell puts an iceberg in the jungles of Vietnam? Didn't see that comin'. Did I tell you it was hot? Couldn't even fart cuz they'd blow like a acetylene torch. Spent 23 years in that jungle!! Ate mostly monkey meat. Tastes like chicken. Found this trail, kept following it but I kept ending up in the same little clearing I landed in. Couldn't figure that out, either! Supplemented my diet with these little mushroom things. Tasted like chicken. It was the most beautiful jungle Keebler elves ever made!! But, damn, it was H O T, HOT! I was one of them ultra special force Ranger Recon SEAL Berets. Army spent $400,000,000 teaching me how to survive behind enemy lines and avoid capture. Money well spent, I'd say. Built me a shack out of zip ties and 100 mile an hour tape. Survived 7 typhoons. Ate mostly monkey. And mushrooms. Funny thing, tasted like chicken. But damn, it was hot! Except at night. Then it was cold, with a capital COLD! -40 with the wind chill! Army taught me 358,372 ways to start a fire. Used all but 7 of them. All that survived with me after the collision was my US Army Ka-bar. Made me a blowgun out of a stalk of bamboo. Used sharpened zip ties as darts with the fuzz from around the monkeys anus as stabilizer for the dart. Made me some poison from the saliva of the Mugabazineegadubodhsbdehjddtc fly. Killed them monkeys dead, I tell you!! That knife came in handy, lemme tell you! Learned to play tiddlywinks on them long, COLD nights. Only lost three fingers but I got seven left so I guess I win. Yuppers, that was probably the longest time I spent off the grid.

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Old 03-20-2013, 03:15 AM   #12
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Ma man , Trip286 , six..? So , you started the path of the insane early..?
The "BIC" , again , the best invention since the wheel..!
Went for a walk in the woods with my dog. A well known trail. He took off after a deer, and I took off after him. No idea how far we went from the trail initially, but I was told I was about a mile off when the neighbor found me. It was not intentional, and one of the scariest things to ever happen to me.

Also pretty much what got me into primitive camping.
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Old 03-20-2013, 03:27 AM   #13
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I win! You may all pay homage to the Great Nutjob!!! Hahahahahahaha

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Old 03-20-2013, 03:36 AM   #14
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I have been homeless twice. Once in Arizona-not a big deal. Four months in Virginia. It was durring winter. There was snow on the ground. That was a big deal. I have lived in a camper in the dessert for extended periods of time. I had access to grocery stores. But often didn't have any money. I never stole from anyone. I know without a doubt I could survive indefinately. I never had electricity or running water for any of those times. I currently have a 26 foot travel trailer and a generator. It is my Zombie/SHTF rig.

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Old 03-20-2013, 03:43 AM   #15
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Lived in an ice cave 100 miles north of the arctic circle in winter for 14 days.. but it doesnt count since i had access to military supplies

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Old 03-20-2013, 03:45 AM   #16
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Lived in an ice cave 100 miles north of the arctic circle for 14 days.. but it doesnt count since i had access to military supplies
Oh, yeah, I did, too. So I guess I don't win after all. My bad!! Carry on!!
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Old 03-20-2013, 04:34 AM   #17
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I win! You may all pay homage to the Great Nutjob!!! Hahahahahahaha
LOL , I want you on my team and your close , it were 126 Degrees with 300% humidity..! . Ever eat Monkey crap .? Tastes like chicken.Reminds me of the time I spent in an active volcano , Hot , Damn HOT , Fire Hot , Melting granite HOT , ....YO "HOT"..! Sooooo HOT. Like walkin on the sun "HOT"..! Needs asbestos lips ("HOT") , "HOOOOOOOTER than HOT"..!
Then , coarse there were the time I was Hijacked buy a flock of terrorists Penguins..! Cold , soooo Cold , Stole right out ma crib , butt nakked , EeeK.! Used ta suck on "ice-bergs" to break in Ma new Teefs , Yeap , Soo Cold , Colder n than that , Pluto on a winter's night Cold , Brrr..Cold , coldest-er.! Bit right into it , the "Ice-berg" that is , Tastes Like Chicken , but Cold , colder than 117 year old virgin lost in the Artic sea COLD , Brrr.! Mmmm..!
Or maybe the time I were a professional Taradactical wrestler , Dry , so very , very dry..! Yeap , You know , the "Dino" bird ? Tastes like Chicken , Mmmm..! Talk about BBQ , EeeK..! So's dry , Dryer than the desert dirt dry , Eeek..!
Or the "BOMB" you know the "BOMB" yeap , they's sposed to drop it Nagasaki and Hiroshima ..? Well , It didn't make it all the way down ,High , so High , you know , defying gravity and alls..! Eeek..! Had to git out an Kick start them Sum-Beotchs , Yeap..! Higher then high , made Ever-rest look like a zit high , very , just , HIGH..! T'so I bit into them to giv em a push , Tastes like Chicken Mmmm..!

How's bout that Hitler thing ..? No biggie , By ma-self , won the war Yeap , Many of them Nazis , So many , many of them ! They tastes like chicken , no biggie ! Eeek..!
Then the the time I was attacked by farm animals ,
Stankin , smelly animals , sooo Stankin ,They'd keep a coming , No biggie , I ate em all , and ya know what , ? They tastes like chicken , but so stankin smelley , so like chicken , more like chicken than chicken..! YO..! Eeek..! Time out , you are the man..!

You the man , hands down..! Tell me bra , you heard of LBJ..? Too much time there , I bad..!

Time for a new icon , hero , tastes like chicken I'd bet-cha..!
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Old 03-20-2013, 05:04 AM   #18
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Lived in an ice cave 100 miles north of the arctic circle in winter for 14 days.. but it doesnt count since i had access to military supplies
I'm feelin , that would COUNT , Eeeek..!
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Old 03-20-2013, 05:34 AM   #19
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LOL...Ha , ha ,ha buwaaaaha ,ha , ha LOL..!
I almost puked laughing , White flag YOU WIN..! LOL..!
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Old 03-20-2013, 12:30 PM   #20
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So, you think so, huh? Well, lemme tell you a thing or two!!

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