Sounds like this one goes into the same file as "impact by Texas-sized asteroid" and "massive shift of the Earth's crust":
Move into an inside room without windows, get under a large and heavy piece of furniture, put your head between your knees, and kiss your ass goodbye...
"Valor needs first strength, then a weapon."
-- J. R. R. Tolkien (1892-1973)
"Free men have arms; slaves do not."
-- William Blackstone (1723-1780)