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Old 06-02-2009, 12:45 PM   #11
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You want something like this.

Her Butt hole is Pouchin OUT!!!

Well I was home on leave during the nice months of April or May in Northern California it is still green and it is not burning yet. So a little back story we have lived in the same town our entire life small farming community in the Sacramento Valley 120 miles north of Sacramento. We had a family friend that lived aprox 15 miles out of town on his 6000 acre ranch. He didn't do much but rent most of it to a sheep farmer. We were allowed to come out and shoot and fish with a days notice.

My brother and I decide to go and do a little shooting out at the ranch. We get things ready to go the night before so we can head out at day light. We have all the guns and ammo we need and hit the sack. Next morning rolls around and we are up and ready to go in a matter of no time. On a last minute dicession we say lets bring the dog. The Dog is Judy a black and white pit mix. Who our other dog the late Lucy (Yes Judy Garlin and Lucille Ball) found in a pile of tires at a Les Schwab store. Judy is along about 13 years old at this time. So we get loaded up call the dog and kiss mom and off we go.

The ride is long boring with not much to look at other than grass and the occasional Valley oak. Well We have 3 rifles in the gun rack (Yes a true in the back window gun rack) 2 in the seat and two guys and a 35# dog in my brothers old 1972 Ford F-150. Well about half way out the dog starts walking around in circles on the middle of the front seat then gets on the floor board then back up and down for a few minutes. The it starts.

After about 25 minutes in the truck Judy thinks it is time to what yes take a big crap. Well She tried to hold it back but it was coming weather we liked it or not. She hunches up and you guessed it her butt hole starts to pouch out. Now It is pointed towards me so I do what any red blooded American would do I push it towards my brother. That was a bad idea, he is trying to drive and crawl out the window while she is trying to poop . I am about to fall out of the truck laughing until it happens he shoves her back my way. Screaming HER BUTT HOLE IS POUCHIN OUT over and over in a very high pitched girlie type voice. What makes that so funny is he is 6'3" and we both have rather deep voices. He is laughing as am I the poor dog is freaking out, because all she really needs to do it relieve herself of last night dinner. Now this is all taking place in a matter of a few seconds we now both look up and see that my brother is headed right for a big concrete immovable bridge rail. Now imagine two guys and a dog all looking at each other and with a cartoon like look all freak out at the same time. He cranks the wheel the dog falls over on to me and I am screaming like a little girl watching Nightmare on Elm Street shaking my hands in the air like a guy on queer eye for the straight guy would if he seen a spider. The dogs butt hole is still pouching out. My brother is laughing crying, and trying to get the truck under control I am laughing and crying and trying to figure out a way to keep the dog from pooping all over me without me having to stick a finger or two up the chute to stop the on coming traffic, hoping and praying that we don't hit the bridge. A few fish tales later and some dust we get stopped I open the door and Judy bails out run a little over 3 feet and explodes with the biggest pile I had ever seen this dog let go of. We have to sit there for 15 minutes while we both stop laughing and calm down enough to get the truck moving and not look like a couple of drunks driving home from the bar.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. We did some shooting and did some fishing. Judy pounced on a Rattler and snatched it up right behind it's head and shock it so hard it died right on the spot. She really saved my brother from stepping on it. The bad thing was she wouldn't let go of the dead snake until we got home and mom said good dog. I miss Judy, who will be gone soon as she is now almost 20 years old.

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Old 06-02-2009, 05:52 PM   #12
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Well...that was...um...yeah.

Entertaining! lol




Guys, I've gotten a couple of good submissions off this thread! I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to not only take this seriously, but put pieces together for me. It's a huge help. I'm still looking for more, though.

At this point, I'll say that I'd like it as original as possible and while I'm open to considering...comedy shall we say...I'd like some serious hunting/shooting and even archery pieces. Talk about a hunt you've been on. Talk about that last new rifle you purchased and the process you went through to find a scope, get everything mounted and sighted in, and how you're shooting with it now. Talk about that big animal you put in the freezer the last time you were out, how it happened and a lesson you learned.

Just some ideas.

Thanks so much again!

Josh

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Old 08-21-2009, 04:08 PM   #13
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I hate to dredge up a "dead" thread but it looks like my funding has FINALLY come through to actually make a real go of this!

Anyone of you who got in touch with me a couple months ago about this, get in touch with me again!

Let's see if we can get some writing done!

Thanks!

Josh

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Old 08-21-2009, 09:53 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoshX3Magazine View Post
I hate to dredge up a "dead" thread but it looks like my funding has FINALLY come through to actually make a real go of this!

Anyone of you who got in touch with me a couple months ago about this, get in touch with me again!

Let's see if we can get some writing done!

Thanks!

Josh
Congrats on the funding! I am looking forward to working with you in the future. E-mail sent.

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