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Old 04-29-2009, 02:17 AM   #21
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Answers to the City of Los Angeles High School
Math Proficiency Exam
Author unknown
1. Johnny has an AK47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 15 times each drive by, how many drive by shootings must he conduct before he shoots 50 people?
Johnny hits 15*(4/10) people per drive by, which means that he will have to participate in 9 drive bys to shoot 50 people. However, he will have completed two drive-by shootings and be just starting the third when he has to reload. Since he only stole a single clip, he'll only have shot 16 people when the homeboys with the UZIs' make Swiss cheese out of him.
2. Pony has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?
At 454 grams per pound, 2oz of the rock = 56.75 grams. An "8 ball" is 8 grams, so pony has sold 10 grams total and has 46.75 grams left. If he keeps selling 8-balls, he can sell 5 more (for a total of 5*$320=$1,600) and have 6.75 grams for his own nose. If he sells 2 gram packs, he can sell (46/2-23) packs at $85 apiece = (23*$85)=$1,955. However, he could divide it into small parts, bake it up into crack and sell the rocks for an even larger profit. This problem is really more suited for the Gang Multi-Variable Economics Test.
3. Ron is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each have to turn so Ron can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?
800/$64=12 tricks plus a dance. Also, Ron should consider making a deal with Pony from Question #2.
4. Susan wants to cut her ½ pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will she need?
If she sells the cut heroin at the same price per unit volume, she will need 20% more volume. 20% of ½ pound (=8oz) is 1.6oz. So, Susan will need 1.6oz of cut to add to the 8 oz of heroin to get 20% more volume. She will want a cut which looks similar to raw heroin and has approximately the same melting point. Plain sugar or laundry detergent are suggested. Laundry detergent has the added benefit of removing the possibility of customer complaints, but will sharply limit repeat business.
5. Blade gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4x4. If he has already stolen 2BMW's and 3 4x4's, how many Chevy's will he have to steal to make $800?
Blade has made 2*$200 + 3*$100=$700 dollars from his theft so far. He needs $100 more, so he needs to steal $100/$50=2 more Chevy's. However, he will probably want to steal 4 Chevy's so he can take the extra two and make a really def low-rider.
6. Little Willy is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $25,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $250 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing the bitch that spent his money?
6 years*12 months/year*$250/month=$18,000. Little Willy will have $25,000 - $18,000 = $7,000 left when he gets out of prison. If Little Willy kills her in the USA, he should expect to get 6 years. However, if he takes her down to Mexico and buries her scrawny, track-marked butt in the desert, he can get off scott free.
7. If the average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet, and the average letter is 4 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?
3 cans of paint will cover 3*22=66 square feet. 66/4=16 letters with a little paint left over to spray in the eyes of the cop who's comin' after you. Or the tagger could do 15 letters and a bitchin' skull.
8. Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?
6/27=22% of the girls. However, 2 of them are lying because they've been sleeping with Pedro, Hector's lieutenant. So, in actuality, Hector only knocked up 4/27 or 14.8%.
9. Rosie's sole source of income is shoplifting. If she gets 10 cents on the dollar from her fence, how much merchandise must she shoplift each week to make $250?
Solve X/10=250 for X, X=$2,500.
10. Mike carjacked a Chevy Camaro for his date Saturday night with his young 14 year old girlfriend. He was arrested that night while making his girlfriend in the backseat. How much prison time is he looking for for the carjacking and for statutory rape, even though the girl looked legal? Assume no prior convictions in arriving at your answer.
Mike is only 12 so he will serve no time and will be making his girlfriend in the lot in someone else's car next Saturday.

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Old 05-02-2009, 02:23 AM   #22
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Old 05-10-2009, 05:37 AM   #23
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Old 09-09-2009, 09:53 AM   #24
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thats so funny "Joe"
hahahaha........

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Old 09-19-2009, 10:03 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbad-ratman View Post
Bob and Fred leave Bob's house for a short hunting trip. On their way back Fred notices a strange car parked in Bob's drive way, raises his rifle and see's Bob's wife with a stranger through the scope. He then tells Bob the bad news. Bob understandably upset, asks Fred if he has a shot on them.
"Sure do Bob."
"Well shoot him in *groin area* and her in the head."
"Gotcha Bob. I can do that with one shot."
LOLOLOLOLOL. this is great.
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Old 03-05-2010, 10:00 AM   #26
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Default Donate for Obama

A man was driving home from work when traffic came to a dead stop after what seemed like a long time a man was seen walking up the road between the cars stopping at each car. When he got to the first man's car the driver ask what was going on. The man said it's terrible some terrorists have kidnapped Barack Obama Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.
THey are holding them for a 3 million Dollar ransom and if its not paid in 4 hrs they are going to douse them with gasoline and light them on fire.
We are taking up a collection for them. The driver ask How much are people donating. The man answered well on average about 1/2 gallon

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Old 03-05-2010, 01:24 PM   #27
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A man comes home to his wife yelling, "Pack your stuff; I just won the million dollar lottery jackpot!" She said "Oh wow that's great honey! Are we moving? What all should I pack?" And the husband says, "I don't care, just pack your sh!t and get the f*ck out!!"

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