Seating primers is an acquired "Feel".
A properly seated primer will actually "Crush" the primer cup into/against the anvil of the primer assembly. This usually will place the primer BELOW flush with the case.
I have seated primers for 40+years on a RCBS RockChucker press with GREAT results. Yes, it takes some pressure on some cases, but you can "Feel" the primer seat.
I sort my brass per Mfg. head stamp, and batch prime that way. When you are on the same brand of brass, you will get the same "Feel" as you go.
Slightly "Unseated" primers will not "Light Off" a round, unless you have a firing pin problem in MOST guns.
On some guns,the first strike may seat the primer, and the second strike set off the load?? Wolf primers come to mind on this complaint..NOT seated properly-first strike seats-second strike sets off.
If I were you--First step--get a QUALITY PRESS...Bill.