Sarge besides being a teacher and a writer, is also a gunsmith. This of course means he must possess a FFL (Federal Firearms License) So when he wants a new gun he can get it sent right to his home, and get wholesale prices on it too.
However Lt.Linda is not a blonde nor is she dumb. She knows what is in those long boxes and the little heavy ones she has figured out too. So when UPS shows up at our door and she signs for a package she also wants to know what is in the box.
Here is how Sarge has been working it for years now.
"Sarge, UPS was here, and your package is in the office." states Lt. Linda.
"Oh good, thanks honey" replies Sarge.
"What did you do buy, a new gun?" she questions.
"Uhhh, well, ohh, I don't know until I open it up hon, it may be for one of my customers." Sarge lamely replies.
Then he goes to the phone and calls his buddy Dave. And the conversation goes something like this.
"Hi Dave, your new gun just came." Sarge says.
Dave says "Huh?"
"Yes it just came today, do you want me to open it up and look at it?" asks Sarge.
So Sarge opens the box and checks to see what his new gun looks like.
"It is a Mauser Model 98 in real good condition, Dave."
And Dave says "Huh, ohhhh you got a new gun, you want me to come up tonight and see it, right?"
"That is right Dave you can come up tonight and pick it up." Sarge repies.
So that night my buddy Dave comes by the house. And we go down to the office and take the rifle out of the box and look at it, work the action, admire it and then Sarge puts it in his vault, and takes Dave and the box down the hall to his work shop.
There Sarge digs around until he finds a mess of scrap wood from past projects and he fills the empty UPS rifle box up with firewood.
Dave takes the now heavy box upstairs and makes sure he sits it down with a thud near Lt. Linda. After thank you's and good bye's Dave goes home with more firewood for his wood stove and Sarge has his new gun locked in the vault of which only he has the key.
Dave and I have been working this now for 5 or 6 years during which Dave has never had to buy firewood and Sarge has gained painlessly many good guns.
Heh heh heh heh.
Sarge the tricky one.