i would recomend the xdm 3.5 compact in 45acp. thats my typical carry gun. its got a short grip for use with the short 10 round mags and can still use the bigger 13 rounders.
accuracy is the same as the 4.5 until you hit 25 yards but your not going to be getting into long rang shootouts and even if that does happen the diff tween my 4.5 fullsize xdm and 3.5 is only half an inch in group size. way more than good enough for center mass hits.
"Gun control: The theory that a woman found dead in an alley, raped and strangled with her panty hose, is somehow morally superior to a woman explaining to police how her attacker got that fatal bullet wound." — L. Neil Smith
The problem with being stupid is you cannot simply decide to stop doing dumb things...
"I crapped my pants to avoid the draft!!" -Ted Nugent