I'm a pretty small guy. 6' tall and 145-150 pounds depending on the time of day lol... But I carry a full size 1911 in .45acp
I find that carrying IWB with a nice belt and a button up shirt is comfortable and easy to conceal!
Also when shooting, a heavy 1911 absorbs a lot of recoil and it's very manageable. Seems to me like the best balance.
If you wanna commit to carrying a firearm a 40oz 1911 shouldn't be too bad with a nice leather belt and proper clothing. And if you can comfortably shoot the gun then everything is good in the world haha!
I have no idea how comfortable it would be for a girl tho... I kinda have a little man complex and carrying the big gun just seems natural ;p
But another reason I prefer the gun that is, a big 230 grain slow moving (slower, anyway) .45 round won't go through too many walls or what have you. (Well it shouldn't anyway) and it will devastate a person first shot. (Or seems like it would... I couldn't say first hand, thank goodness)
I would definitely suggest trying out a 1911 and maybe doing a little reading up on them. Just my 2 cents...
Sorry that kinda turned into a whiskey tangent