I'm with ya, first things first, concealability, then comfort. I only carry single stack. I prefer a small caliber as well, which too cuts down on overall size and achieves primary goal, aforementioned. Because I have thin, narrow hands even a 22lr has enough grip room for two on and a pinky under, or I sometimes have a pinky extension, still unsure which I like better.
Something not mentioned is trigger action type, which I find of utmost importance as well. I previously considered SA as a hinderance for pocket carry, which is what I do, because of a hammer that can snag. Now I've come to find that there's plenty on a gun that can snag, but with the right angle and pull one can easily avoid any such undue time consumption. I simply leave the weapon chambered but uncocked and while pulling from pocket I have my thumb on the hammer readying to cock it once out, voila! Also, with SA, the trigger is further toward the grip and fuller, so less to get entangled, if carrying without holster, and less to snag!
Yup, I too have found my firearm niche, in carry, home defense, and plinking fun. I like it when a good plan comes together.