Friend's experience really made me think
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:42 AM   #1
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Default Friend's experience really made me think

One of our friends has a daughter who is special needs. The daughter is a senior in high school, 19 years old. A few weeks ago, she was at church with a young man who was paying a lot of attention to her. I commented to her that if the guy shows up a church again one of the men should corner him and ask what his intentions are (no father in the picture).

Anyway, we ran into our friend at Walmart yesterday and heard the rest of the story. Turns out the guy is special needs as well, although you wouldn't notice it up front. He was probably 6, 2 and pretty fit. The guy invited mother and daughter over for dinner to meet his mother. Daughter was very excited about the idea. When they got there, his mom was not there. He proceeded to "notify" our friend that he was in love with her daughter and wanted mom to leave daughter with him so they could start their life together... that night. Things went south from there. They essentially had to escape as best they could after getting trapped. Eventually, others in the building helped intervene and the police were called.

Mom and daughter made it home. Daughter got her eyes opened and now wants nothing to do with guy, although it appears she was complicit to some extent in the original plan.

So here's what has been bothering me. I took notice of this kid when I saw him. Had I been in her position, I would have likely drawn on him. However, she was able to get herself and her daughter out of the situation without escalation. Albeit, she is a very experienced foster parent who is used to dealing with troubled and special needs kids.

It really has me wondering, what would have been the right course of action.

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Old 03-27-2013, 03:42 AM   #2
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My take:

It's situational dependent. Instinct and intuition always take precedence, based on observation and, finally, resulting in reaction.

This is why I don't set myself up by doing these speculative scenarios. I take everything for face value at first, then reassess as things go. Yet to lead me astray...

My experiences tell me little is predictable when it comes to the mind and actions of another. Guess work and a little luck usually do the trick, as long as this is rule is understood and respected.

Who's to know what would've resulted had someone like the sort in here been there. I'd like to think the same thing, but it's likely things would've escalated. And who's to say that wouldn't've still yielded the same end?

Too many variables, but thumbs up for momma indeed!

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Old 03-27-2013, 03:52 AM   #3
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Mark the CALLENDAR... Tack agrees with BTB!

The situation will dictate and while her "firing" on a 6'2" special needs guy would not be questioned... a grand jury may look quite differently on one of us, particularly us Vets, doing exactly the same thing.

I do however think that most of us would exhaust every possible option before choosing to introduce a gun into the equation unless Mr. Crackers went for a weapon.

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Old 03-27-2013, 09:32 AM   #4
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Definitely a situation.Being armed is truly a responsibility that requires us to check every avenue.I as a citizen with a weapon must be sure there is no other way out but to protect myself with my last resort option.

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Old 03-27-2013, 10:06 AM   #5
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The mother's course of action were certainly correct.
You said the guy was "special needs". that implies that he was likely a little "off" mentally and somewhat "slow" in his thinking and reasoning. You cannot use a gun on someone like that. That type person is likely to have a completely different view of guns and a different perception and "reality" of guns and their actual lethality.

You must use different techniques to end the situation. The mother did in this case. She wisely negotiated - but she could have had to use a manual self defense technique, if the negotiation/manipulation techniques failed.

The gun carry person really should have training in other types of self defense techniques - so that he has options in self defense. He doesn't just go "bang" at whatever comes up. Manual techniques.
There are self defense techniques out there that can be learned. I don't mean the white robe with a colored belt type - where people line up on lines and deliver strikes at cooperating subjects.
There are real street type techniques that can be learned - for up close and very personal self defense. I have done this myself - it can be done and it can be learned.

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Old 03-27-2013, 02:10 PM   #6
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Bring back the mental hospitals. When I was growing up there were few if any people like him on the streets. Seems today there are alot of special needs people walking the streets that should not be.

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Old 03-27-2013, 04:37 PM   #7
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Mark the CALLENDAR... Tack agrees with BTB!
Even a blind squirrel gets a nut now and then. Question is who's the squirrel and who's the nut? Lol
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Old 03-27-2013, 04:38 PM   #8
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Bring back the mental hospitals. When I was growing up there were few if any people like him on the streets. Seems today there are alot of special needs people walking the streets that should not be.
Thank Bill Clinton! Or Hillary, depending on who think was actually pulling the strings. ;P
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Old 03-27-2013, 05:08 PM   #9
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The mother's course of action were certainly correct.
You said the guy was "special needs". that implies that he was likely a little "off" mentally and somewhat "slow" in his thinking and reasoning. You cannot use a gun on someone like that. That type person is likely to have a completely different view of guns and a different perception and "reality" of guns and their actual lethality.
I agreed up to this point Colby. Drawing doesn't ALWAYS mean 'shoot,' however, it probably should. Escalating a serious physical confrontation by degrees is questionable and if the outcome is doubtful it is downright stupid. There is a chance that brandishing a firearm may forestall a deadly conflict when it is just at the point of pulling the trigger. But someone else may not react the way you expect rational people to and the action must be seen through to its final, regretable but necesary, conclusion.

Pulling a gun and shooting someone always has to be the last, possible, option, but it is not a decision the shooter makes. Not really. It is a decision someone else has made for them. Reasonable people make reasonable decisions. Unreasonable people, like criminals, get themselves shot. Though people here seem to talk a little bloodthirsty I have a high degree of confidence they'd all do exactly the right thing (well, with Dango maybe the jury's still out). Remember this:

you are not worth more than someone else, but you certainly aren't worth any less.
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Old 03-27-2013, 10:06 PM   #10
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I constantly see these posts which state the bad guy is 6'2"+ and 200lbs+ as if that is a reason to draw your weappon. You have to ask yourself, are you a man? Unbelieveable how afraid people are. If you are in a situation and they aren't violent and there are no weapons presented you will go to jail. Learn to fight, or better situational awareness. I'm 6'2" 240lbs and I have beat the crap out of 300 pounders and been laid out by a dude who was about 170. Size alone doesn't didctate an armed response...

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