Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > Handguns > Concealed Carrying & Personal Protection > does anyone have the same problem as me?

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Old 01-20-2012, 05:16 PM   #21
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I haven't been in your exact situation (I am single and female), but I have experienced people who freak out over the idea of owning and carrying a gun.

The people I have met who are the most unhappy/uncomfortable with guns usually a) have never shot a firearm, b) come from a family where there are no firearms, c) have spent much of their lives in or near a city, and d) have a lot of misconceptions about guns from the media and other sources. Many people are misinformed and afraid because they simply have no experience and little education about firearms. They see lots of news stories and tv shows about the harm that guns can do when used inappropriately. (And let's face it, if the intended victims in an episode of CSI had been armed, the show would be over in about two minutes and there would be no mystery to solve.)

Some people have misconceptions about concealed carry and think, like you said, it is about being tough or cool. Perhaps you should explain to her that when done correctly, concealed carry is about neither of those things. Tell her what it really involves, because she probably has no idea. I have read some great threads on this site that stress that it is a huge responsibility that involves avoiding bad situations to begin with (situational awareness) and walking away from trouble if at all possible (even if it hurts your ego.) A firearm is a last resort only if you believe you face an imminent threat of death or great bodily harm, and even then there will be consequences that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. Let her know you understand the grave amount of responsibility that comes with carrying. I say this because I have dealt with friends who thought it was silly when I bought my first gun- they didn't understand any of the things I just mentioned because no one had ever explained it to them.

A lot of people really do not have the experience and education when it comes to firearms, and we can't blame them for it. But we can try to educate them about it. Some of the members on here have taught me a lot and made me think; I have found these threads particularly interesting and educating and maybe your wife would, too:

http://www.firearmstalk.com/forums/f17/let-us-talk-about-self-defense-moment-53691/

http://www.firearmstalk.com/forums/f17/starting-discussion-situational-awareness-53582/

http://www.firearmstalk.com/forums/f17/open-carry-51761/

And if you can ever get her to go shooting with you sometime (but don't start her off with your .45), maybe she will enjoy target practice, too. I can speak from experience that it is very addictive

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Old 01-20-2012, 05:19 PM   #22
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First off when I went to buy a first gun recently my wife went with me. She was a little leery. I found a very woman friendly shop with a range. Told them what we wanted and that we had zero experience. We were taken back to the range with a few guns and spent over 2 hours learning gun safety , proper techniques and getting the feel for the guns. BTW all this did not hung on having to buy and it didn't cost a dime(even though we went through a hundred rounds of their ammo). When we left my wife was extremely comfortable and is carrying and learning more . I am grateful for a shop like this nearby( 1 hour away).

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Old 01-20-2012, 05:52 PM   #23
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When they passed our CCW law a couple of years back, I told my wife I was going to get my CCW permit. "Why do you want to carry a gun?" I explained it to her calmly and rationally. She accepted most of it, but still hit me with "You haven't had one for 55 years, why do you need one now?" Well, for one thing, it's never been legal until now or would have. But then I also related to her a story that occurred before we got married. She'd never heard this story before. I'm a really good ice skater (or used to be). Use to play amateur hockey. Late one evening, after a skating session at the local skating rink, I was walking to my car. Due to crowding, I had to park quite a way from the building. As I was walking to my car I was confronted by four guys. They started asking me questions, like they needed directions somewhere, but it was obvious from the start this was a come on. Before it was over, I was in the hospital, badly beaten. One of my wounds got infected, and I was in bad shape for a while. The police reported that my case was another in a string of similar incidents in that area. It seems these four.....uh.....men....were just going out looking for people to beat up, just for fun. Shades of the attacks that are going on in St. Louis these days. I sure as hell wish I'd had a gun that night. I still have some of the scars.

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Old 01-20-2012, 05:55 PM   #24
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My wife doesn't really like guns, but after getting her to pop off a few, and when she had to pull the shotty on an attempted intruder, she understands the necessity and the potential for fun.

She's like me, if there were no crime, guns in our horse would strictly be for sport and hunting.

Honestly, I'd rather rather have no need for a gun in my house. I could take up archery for fun and food, which would probably lead to me getting just as much enjoyment out of archery equipment as I do guns.

But people don't mug folks with bows and arrows or spears.

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Old 01-20-2012, 06:14 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by pontiac163 View Post
So I bought a .45 for home protection and to carry. Well my wife's not to happy about me carrying it. She says she doesn't understand why and thinks that I'm trying to be "tuff and cool" so annoying... I see alot of people here that say they're never more then an arms reach from there gun. I want to get into that habbit. Espeacally since they're has been alot of break ins and home invasions in my area. What's your take on this?
My girlfriend called me a billy bad ass wanna be, too. I guess she is right. I is. A very heavily armed one at that.

And yay though I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for I am the most evil mother loving son in the valley. That way God gets a rest. He does not need to worry about me. I can take care of mice elf.
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Old 01-20-2012, 06:19 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by trip286 View Post
My wife doesn't really like guns, but after getting her to pop off a few, and when she had to pull the shotty on an attempted intruder, she understands the necessity and the potential for fun.

She's like me, if there were no crime, guns in our horse would strictly be for sport and hunting.

Honestly, I'd rather rather have no need for a gun in my house. I could take up archery for fun and food, which would probably lead to me getting just as much enjoyment out of archery equipment as I do guns.

But people don't mug folks with bows and arrows or spears.
My Remington model 700 RUM .300 is dual purpose, for hunting deer and elk, and for long 1000 yd shots on other predators.

My Mossberg model 590 12 gauge is also dual purpose, with 3 interchangable barrels, a short one for defense (and in case I ever have to stop a riot by myself), a long one for birds, and a rifled barrel for the shotgun zones during buck season.

My Smith&Wesson .44 mag is as well dual purpose, for bears, or anything else in the woods, that won't stay out of my campsite, or in case of a home invasion.

The Ruger .45 ACP I am looking at will supplement the .44 at home. I should have this purchase made soon. I want the .45 ACP calibre, semi-auto functioning, double-action trigger, half-cock safety on an exposed hammer, and an adjustable rear site. And this one is not dual purpose. It is strictly designed and intended for 2 legged predators.
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Old 01-20-2012, 06:20 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by Shoobee View Post
My girlfriend called me a billy bad ass wanna be, too. I guess she is right. I is. A very heavily armed one at that.
Some may earn that title....it's all about attitude (or no attitude). Many or most CCW don't let on that they carry. They look normal and act normal and have a mature attitude abour carrying and the responsibility that goes along with it.
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Old 01-20-2012, 06:29 PM   #28
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Explain to her that its something that's important to you, and that though you hope to never need it, you feel very strongly about the need to be prepared. Tell her that even though she may not understand you're reasoning, its something you feel the need to do and that you're always open to discuss with her and answer her questions. Like others have said, be responsible, don't try to show off, don't throw it in her face or suffocate her with facts if she doesn't want to hear it. Take any opportunity she gives you to share your thoughts about it, but otherwise just keep it to yourself and respect her right to not want to carry.

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Old 01-20-2012, 06:37 PM   #29
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Explain to her that its something that's important to you, and that though you hope to never need it, you feel very strongly about the need to be prepared. Tell her that even though she may not understand you're reasoning, its something you feel the need to do and that you're always open to discuss with her and answer her questions. Like others have said, be responsible, don't try to show off, don't throw it in her face or suffocate her with facts if she doesn't want to hear it. Take any opportunity she gives you to share your thoughts about it, but otherwise just keep it to yourself and respect her right to not want to carry.
AND don't be afraid to be yourself. She doesn't have to approve or everything you do. If its not immoral, illegal, or contrary to the vows you made to her, then its ok if you do it. Do your best to help her understand where you're coming from, but don't fail to do what you need to do just because she's not a fan of the decision.
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Old 01-20-2012, 06:53 PM   #30
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I'm old and crippled and have a bad heart I'm as far from a bad ass as you can get that's why I carry.

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