I think Ron White "hit the nail on the head","There ain't no cure for stupid".
..Have you considered moving to the REAL--United States of America where the Right To Bear Arms is observed ? Here in the "Land Of The Free",NEVADA,
we have a "shall issue" clause in our statutes. Darn near every sole has a CCW and is armed on a daily basis.
Like they say on the ol' Price Is Right show,"COM'on Down " !(to Nevada,that is !)
You hit it right on the head. IF you do not want to move to Nevada you could always move here to Arizona. Where they have Constitutional Carry (SB 1108). Which means if you obey the law you can carry with out a permit.