I've owned an SP-101 for a few months now and it's quickly become my daily carry thanks to its accuracy and "brick sh*t-house" construction.
I went through the same thing you did learning to shoot mine. THat's why, as you can see in the picture, I went with a 3 inch barrel. I also opted for the factory Rubber "Hogue-like" grip, and I too consulted the great Jerry Miculek for grip positioning.
To-date, with only a couple hundred rounds fired, my groups are "minute of dancing coke can" at 10 yards and "minute of center mass" out to 25. I've found that with hands my size, a grip that allows my trigger finger to pull straight back just in front of the first knuckle keeps me able to shoot accurately in double action and keep the front sight where it needs to be.
This picture was shot while I was shooting my first box of ammo through my 101, so as you can see by my use of my "tactical tongue" I was concentrating pretty hard on "squeeze straight back, straight back, front sight, front sight...squeeeeeeeze...BANG!" The tongue also appears when I'm balancing my check book...
Love my SP-101 and I'm sure you'll love yours too. Great revolver!
Have a great day!