Bullet weight, powder charge "rate of burn", caliber, size and weight of the handgun, will all have an effect on the "felt recoil". Cowboy loads in .44 in a N-frame revolver have less felt recoil than a .357 Magnum self defense load in a K-frame revolver.
When you reload, you have control of most factors.
"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."
Life Member NRA
Life Member NAHC
Former President of the ECPT (Eifel Combat Pistol Team)