When the cylinder is loaded and have the hammer cocked you can't eject it otherwise this whole debate would be null and void.
IMHO what to do
Revolver: if it is loaded and the hammer is back and u want to de-cock please point the barrel in a safe direction aka down range keep your fingers away from the trigger until you have a firm grip on the firearm and your thumb can rest on the side of the hammer to ease it down slowly.
Semi-auto: chamber a round and hit the de-cocker.
Guns should always be pointed in a safe direction no matter what your doing