There is one common thread I have noticed in all these I want to get a gun for my wife threads. The first thing the husband does is stick a pistol in her hands. Yet for men their first experiences are nothing like what they are expecting from their wife. I had a pellet rifle, a single shot 16 ga, a marlin 60 and a 12 ga Mossberg pump before I got to shoot a handgun more than a few times here and there. I had served in the Marine Corps and qualified with a 1911 before I ever bought a handgun.
I really think novice shooters should start with a 22 rifle and iron sights. They should become proficient with a rifle and iron sights before ever asking the novice to fire a handgun. My wife shot rifles and shotguns for a couple years before she ever tried to fire a pistol. I waited for her to ask me about pistols. I did not push her into anything. Maybe the women in your life would have better experiences if you gave them the training that most teenage males get.