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StainlessSteel215 11-30-2012 02:37 PM

How can I get my wife to become comfortable with pistols?
This has been an ongoing issue for me.....nothing too serious but the simple fact is that my wife is morbidly afraid of guns and wants nothing to do with them. She's the type that thinks a loaded gun could and would just randomly go off just by looking at it funny!

She has warmed up SLIGHTLY over the years when I explain to her that they not only provide me with a fun hobby that I enjoy, an investment that generally gains value over time....but most importantly they may save our lives some day. She gets it, just doesnt even want to look at them and thinks they are far too dangerous (which is why I set up a sweet workbench in the garage far away from her!)

So, last night I damn near convinced her to come with me on a range shoot and start out shooting a .22 just to get over the initial fear. Of course my goal would be to get her to the point where she could get used to shooting a little pocket .380 and eventually carry it in certain places.

Baby steps though, right?

Anyone else out there have advice on how to warm her up?

hardluk1 11-30-2012 04:30 PM

Good fitted ear plugs and a 22 rifle would be a best first firearm . Or quality muffs for a .22 semi auto pistol. NO 22 revolvers as trigger pulls tend to be heavier and not enjoyable. If a rifle be sure it fits her well. Good targets to see that allow her to see what she is hitting. A bench and bags to aid in learn and hitting a target . If possible some shack'n up soda pop cans to blow up to impress her ability . Any thing to make it fun. Now the "little" 380 down the road, Whats little , bersa thunder 380 or a micro 380-forget it. Let her work into other cartidges at her own speed. Last Take along or meet another women or couple where the other lady is a skilled shooter to help her along. Range officer, buddys wife,???

danf_fl 11-30-2012 05:38 PM

Grab the skil saw.
Get hearing and eye protection.
Draw the lines and let her cut.

After she gets used to that inanimate object, knows the safety rules, and sees how it only operates when directed by an individual, then progress to firearms.

John_Deer 11-30-2012 06:50 PM

Most new shooters are less intimidated by a rifle. I got my wife and niece started with a marlin model 60. It takes a while but they do come around. For some reason uninitiated women are less frightened by small pistols even though they are much harder to shoot. Both started shooting a JA-22. Then they warmed up to my Colt Diamondback 22. Today they both have concealed permits and carry adequate weapons most of the time.

treehugger49 11-30-2012 07:04 PM


Originally Posted by danf_fl (Post 1033493)
Grab the skil saw.
Get hearing and eye protection.
Draw the lines and let her cut.

After she gets used to that inanimate object, knows the safety rules, and sees how it only operates when directed by an individual, then progress to firearms.

Speaking of tools, let her view the firearm as nothing more than a tool, rather than an "instrument of death."

In the proper hands, with proper training it merely performs whatever appropriate functions the operator asks of it. Nothing inherently dangerous or intimidating about it. Exercise the same care you would driving a nail or driving your car.

A good way to get outside, breathe the fresh air, sling a little lead and have a good time!

Get her used to and comfortable with it before integrating the personal defense aspect of firearms ownership. Maybe she'll come around, or at least become more comfortable with your interest in them.

winds-of-change 11-30-2012 07:08 PM

SS, I was exactly like that not too many years ago. I just didn't know better. I was totally uneducated about guns. They scared the crap out of me. Then a friend pointed out I drive a car, have knives in my kitchen, let my children swing baseball bats, etc. It took me a while but I learned that guns are only as dangerous as the person behind the gun.

Ask her if she thought you would endanger her and the family by having guns in the house if they were dangerous on their own.

That is what turned me over. I realized the person who wanted to take me shooting was big on safety and that made me feel much better. He stressed to me safety was first and foremost. Talk to her about the safety rules and why they make sense. Get one of your revolvers (if you have one), show her it's empty and demonstrate the safety rules and why they are important. Also, if she goes to the range, tell her any time she feels overwhelmed to just lay the gun down, barrel to the range and step back. Tell her she can put it down any time.

I hope she warms up to the idea of shooting. Because it is so much fun. I wish I lived closer. I'd help you help her.

And I agree with the others here. The first gun put in my hands was a rifle. An Uzi, to be exact. Easy shooting, very little recoil, very accurate. I was hooked!!

Grapevinebill 11-30-2012 09:14 PM

I am in the exact same position as the OP. My wife is deathly affraid of guns and doesn't want them around her. In fact, in order for me to bring a gun in to the house when I first bought a hand gun I had to agree that there were no bullets in the house, just the gun. All ammo stayed in the garage, locked up. Eventually this relaxed a bit as I started to carry. When she saw the gun in the night stand she did ask if it was loaded. My response was "It wouldn't do us any good if it wasn't" and it was left at that.

We recently spent some time with family of hers who have about 40+ acres in OK and we spent some time shooting. She did try to shoot a .22 and actually seemed to enjoy it. Not sure if she has had a chnage of mind but its a step in the right direction.

SigArmored 11-30-2012 10:40 PM

Everyone is a little different my gf broke right into my Sig 226 but she was also under the mind to gave do some shooting.She now loves my pistols but doesn't like shooting the rifles and we started nice an slow with the 22 lr.I think you would be better off letting her know that you would like her to learn for her safety .Then let her take it at her pace.

Griffworks 12-01-2012 02:22 AM

I suggest lots of patience, go over The Four Rules until she has them memorized and let her "play" with an unloaded .22 semi-auto handgun for half an hour a day for a couple of days - in your presence! - before you go shooting. Have her rack the slide, work an empty magazine and practice squeezing the trigger and feeling the reset. Take her to the range and let her shoot at her own pace and for as long as she's comfortable.

Don't force it.

Be patient with her, let her know that you trust her and that she can trust you. Do not lose your patience with her, no matter what. Once you get frustrated with her and it shows, you lose her trust. I know this in particular from personal experience with my own wife. :o

If this doesn't work with you taking her to the range and shooting, ask another person you know who's an experienced shooter and have them start from scratch. It's my experience that, more often than not, a lady isn't going to be as prone to listen to her husband as she is a complete stranger, and a man isn't as likely to be as patient w/his wife as he is someone else. :rolleyes:

winds-of-change 12-01-2012 02:51 AM

Griff might have nailed it. See if she'd be willing to attend a safety class then sign her up.

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