Originally Posted by kjbcruz12
She likes the S&W 686 Plus and the XDM 9mm.
Great guns. A little big? Sure. But if they work well for her carry situation, that's just fine. A 'big' gun can be more imposing, higher in capacity, and more shooter-friendly when it comes to quickly landing multiple hits on target. That bigger gun will also tend to be more powerful ballistically (longer barrel), so you get more power that's also easier to keep on target.
One of the medium guns I often endorse for female shooters is the Sig P239. Capacity isn't so great and it shouldn't be confused with a micro carry gun, but its slim profile fits a lot of women really well. They can be expensive though ($600-800). Also look into the XDm9 3.8 with the compact magwell/grip.
Size, ergonomics, safeties, etc...they're all important. But above all else, it's critical that she have confidence in her own abilities with that gun. That trumps everything
. And it usually starts with buying something she likes, that she'll enjoy practicing with.