[bohica83]

So I'm looking into getting my wife a pistol, but I'm in a pickle about what to get her. Something semi-auto, compact, but will still ruin your day if she has to use it. I have an XD .45 and she likes shooting it, but a bit too much kick for her. So xd or sig or fnp? 9 or 380 or 40 cal? Any insight?

[NGIB]

Welcome.

Any small pistol, other than rimfire, is going to have more felt recoil than your XD - just physics. Everything is a compromise when looking for an effective defensive handgun, size, weight, caliber, etc. I'd suggest heading out to a range that has rentals and try a few out. As far as caliber, I'd avoid .40 if recoil is an issue as they are very snappy guns - especially in compacts. T'was I in your shoes, I'd focus on 9mm guns and the question is whether this will be carried or kept at home...

[FirstSergeant]

My wife and daughter handle my FNP-9 well. (FNX is the current model) recoil real or percieved can affect different people in different ways. As a general rule, don't get too small or light of a gun. A service size pistol will help. Iv'e seen too many people get small frame 380's thinking they are mouse guns and turn out to be a handfull for the female friend.

[NGIB]

I expect a lot of folks will chime in about a snubby revolver - great guns but not the easiest to shoot well. My wife hated all the snubs she tried...

[spittinfire]

I got my wife started shooting with a 6" 357 feeding it 38s. She became comfortable and confident with it. It got to the point where I wanted her to have something of her own. I ended up with a Ruger SP101(NGIB, here comes the snubbies). It was smaller, which she liked and it fit her hand well. It's also got a little bit of weight to it so recoil is manageable with 38 +ps even for my wife who is recoil sensitive.
As mentioned snub nosed revolvers aren't known to be the easiest to shoot but for a defensive gun the accuracy out of the SP is more then acceptable. My wife can easily hit a 4-6" circle at 15 yards.

I tried to get her into a semi auto and she after one magazine she was done. Take her to a place that rents some guns and see if you can let her try a 9mm XD(if she likes the feel of your 45) or a revolver and see which one she likes better.

[NGIB]

Spittty, you know I like the SP101 and it's one of the few snubbies I'd recommend as it has enough weight not to be really difficult to shoot. The aluminium/scandium framed snubbies are the ones that can be a real bear to master...

[spittinfire]

Originally Posted by NGIB

Spittty, you know I like the SP101 and it's one of the few snubbies I'd recommend as it has enough weight not to be really difficult to shoot. The aluminium/scandium framed snubbies are the ones that can be a real bear to master...

Oh yeah, I shot a Taurus airweight 38 snub and it was a handful. It was not plesant to shoot nor was it easy to shoot.

[ScottA]

Originally Posted by NGIB

Spittty, you know I like the SP101 and it's one of the few snubbies I'd recommend as it has enough weight not to be really difficult to shoot. The aluminium/scandium framed snubbies are the ones that can be a real bear to master...

And someone had the bright idea of chambering the LCR in .357.

[spittinfire]

Originally Posted by ScottA

And someone had the bright idea of chambering the LCR in .357.

And part of me still wants one.

[KBlue]

Originally Posted by bohica83

So I'm looking into getting my wife a pistol, but I'm in a pickle about what to get her. Something semi-auto, compact, but will still ruin your day if she has to use it. I have an XD .45 and she likes shooting it, but a bit too much kick for her. So xd or sig or fnp? 9 or 380 or 40 cal? Any insight?

My dad bought my mom a Beretta Cheetah 84FS. During family range time, I found it to be far and away the most fun I've had shooting a .380 (He also has a PPK and P3AT). The grip makes recoil virtually unnoticeable. Shooting tight groups at self defense range is a friggin' cakewalk.

My personal preference for sub-compact weapons is .40 (until Springfield makes a sub-compact XD in .45 auto, of course). If the Mrs. doesn't like .40; let her shoot a few cylinders of .357 out of a snubbie. Switch back to the .40, .40 feels amazing! Everyone wins!