Choose something 124gr or heavier, that you and your gun are proficient with. I promise this will be the perfect answer every time.
As far as going up to 147gr, +p, +p+, etc...that's a matter of personal preference. Standard pressure 124gr is a pretty safe bet to get the job done, may handle better, and might even salvage a bit more of your hearing should you ever have cause to discharge it indoors. All that said...I do carry 127gr +p+ Winchester Rangers in my BHP. I handle that round in that gun really well, and like that it measures up pretty well with a 357sig ballistically. But in my micro 9mm (PF9) I always carry 115/124gr standard pressure Hornady Critical Defense.
I've primarily taken to Winchester Rangers for pistol defense ammo. But I wouldn't hesitate to count on the offerings from Remington, Federal, Speer, Buffalo Bore, Black Hills, CorBon, Doubletap, Fiocchi, or Hornady.
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