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Your Campaigning Platform: What would it be?


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Old 10-08-2010, 12:11 AM   #11
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Default When I am elected Prime Minister of Australia

I shall bring the following changes into place:

Gun laws will be changed nation-wide to reciprocate Texas' (from what I gather this US state has the best gun laws, but if I am wrong insert appropriate state here).

Daylight saving will be introduced in Queensland so that everyone can enjoy our awesome weather.*

*I'm not sure if you guys have daylight saving in the US, but during the warmer months the state of New South Wales winds its clocks forward one hour to finish work early and encourage people to get outside and supposedly save on power bills (Great for an afternoon walk with a shotgun after work or school though!)

I second JD's Sexy Panty Monday law, and will also bring into effect Half Day Friday, to give everyone a long weekend.

I will make it compulsory to give a courtesy wave/hello if someone lets you in in traffic, stops to let you cross the road, says hi in the street etc... I AM SO DAMN SICK OF THE CITY! Failure to do so will be punishable by deportation to New Zealand.

Retail workers will no longer have to assume that the customer is always right (I work in a supermarket deli), and will now be able to point out said customer's stupidity; "DOES IT F@*%ING LOOK LIKE WE'VE GOT ANY MORE CHICKENS IN THE OVEN?!"

And probably my most important policy, Australia is the driest inhabited continent on the planet, and is currently in the grip of one of the worst droughts in history. There is a major shotage of water.....

So I will install more taps.





This campaign is bought to you by your future Prime Minister of Australia, AusLach.
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Old 10-08-2010, 12:21 AM   #12
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^^^ LOL - That supermarket part was priceless!! I damn near spit my beverage.
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:06 AM   #13
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Default vote for me

If elected I will:

Have a four-year open season on all politicians who accept money from special interest groups. No bag limit.

Have two shoot a C.E.O. days a month. Pay a bounty of any C.E.O. who makes more a year than I do.

Have all corporations pay a 99% tax on all their profits on products they merchandise that are made out of this country that had been made here in the past.

Make Big Oil limit their profits to 2% over their actual costs.

Stop all federal subsidies to corporations that have shown any profit in the past twenty years.

Stop all importation of anything that could be made in this country.

Limit the use of cell phones to those who actually need them. Ordering pizza would not be considered an actual need nor would causal conversation.

Spend more money on education, medical research and upgrading this nations infrastructure than is spent on running Congress.

Pay all elected officials one dollar a year for the time they are in office. No fat pensions.

Have the media report the truth and quit the bullsxxt.

If you won’t vote for me don’t vote.
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Last edited by Walley; 10-08-2010 at 01:39 AM.
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:28 AM   #14
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I can't post my true thoughts here.
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:36 AM   #15
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This age 18/ 21/ 25 thing has gone on long enuff. You are 18? Good. That means you are a grown up. Here is your voter card, here is a beer, here is your draft card, and here is your firearm. Now go get a job.
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:44 AM   #16
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I will ban OCC and the Tuttle's for 10 years.
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:53 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpttango30 View Post
I will ban OCC and the Tuttle's for 10 years.
What about Jesse James?
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:55 AM   #18
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Quote:
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What about Jesse James?
He's a hack and always has been. The Tuttle's were worse. I imagine Tango will kick him in the junk for cheating on the highest paid actress in hollywood.
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:58 AM   #19
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3 days of work. 4 days off.

and NO Political Correctness.... If you don't like it... go to another country.
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Old 10-08-2010, 02:05 AM   #20
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Hello voters.

Dillinger would have you stand. I require only that you kneel. For I am kind.

I require only earth and water. For I am kind.

Currency will be gold only, and will bear my image. For I am kind.

All nations shall bow to me, or I'll push the button. But you will be afforded the opportunity to bow, for I am kind.

If elected, thieves will dig me a hole that stretches to the Earth's core. Murderers and sex offenders will line up at the hole. The men of my country will get in shape by learning to kick the murderers and sex offenders into the hole. For I am kind.

Pull your f*****g pants up, or I'll kick you off a cliff. You won't be able to kick back, your pants will bind your legs.
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