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Old 10-07-2013, 01:12 AM   #1
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Default You guys and gals with daughters (and maybe sons too)

My 11 year old daughter is playing volleyball for her school team this fall, this is my first time with school sports since it was me 30 plus years ago.

There are only 9 girls on the team and the school has no bus(private school). Since I am off work with my bum shoulder I have been able to attend every game.

Two Saturdays ago we meet at the school for an away game, we are going to follow the coach to the game. We are sitting in the parking lot and cars start rolling up and unloading girls and leaving. It turns out that I am the only parent besides the coach heading to the game. So I end up hauling 4 11-13 year old girls to the game 30 miles away. This is not a problem I have the room, I am going anyway.

Last Saturday our game is at the YMCA we get there 45 min early as instructed and 2 of the girls are already there. The coaches are not there yet. The 2 girls were dropped off and left there by themselves.

Am I an insane overprotective parent for wanting to know who my kid is riding with, or that there is an adult coach around before I will drop her off somewhere.

Again I have the advantage of being off work during this so I can be there, but I just can't imagine dumping my kid off on a coach or other parent without at least a rough idea what is going on. Even if I have to get to work.

Other parents thoughts????



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Old 10-07-2013, 01:26 AM   #2
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My wife worries about things like that. I don't. When I was a kid, I would leave the house in the morning and be home before dark. I spent days fishing, exploring, playing. Nothing bad ever happened. Nowadays little kids have cellular telephones.



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Old 10-07-2013, 01:40 AM   #3
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What type of situation were the girls who were left there in? Was there a staffed reception desk nearby or were they in a gym style environment with plenty of adults around?

I would find it very questionable and probably would not leave my own children in that situation but the details would be important. Maybe they have been there countless times before and know other people who were there at the time even if they were not actively being monitored. 11-13 is 6th-8th grade I think, by 8th grade they should be that responsible.

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Old 10-07-2013, 01:41 AM   #4
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I think FU4 is making the point that parents are "Dumping" their kids. Parents expect the state to feed, educate and entertain their children. The State is happy to raise your children.
But parents should not "Bitch" when little Johnny and Pretty Susie turn out to be dependent citizens of the system.

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Old 10-07-2013, 01:44 AM   #5
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My wife worries about things like that. I don't. When I was a kid, I would leave the house in the morning and be home before dark. I spent days fishing, exploring, playing. Nothing bad ever happened. Nowadays little kids have cellular telephones.
So did I, But that was running around in the woods with other parents around that I knew and knew me. I am talking about dropping your kid off and hoping she gets where she needs to be and gets back in one piece without knowing how this is gonna happen.
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Old 10-07-2013, 02:04 AM   #6
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What type of situation were the girls who were left there in? Was there a staffed reception desk nearby or were they in a gym style environment with plenty of adults around?

I would find it very questionable and probably would not leave my own children in that situation but the details would be important. Maybe they have been there countless times before and know other people who were there at the time even if they were not actively being monitored. 11-13 is 6th-8th grade I think, by 8th grade they should be that responsible.
This is pretty much the situation of the second situation although I don't know if they have been there before, my daughter is in 6th grade, the youngest on the team.

I was somewhat more concerned about the first situation where the parents have no idea who their kids are riding with or where they are going.
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Old 10-07-2013, 02:04 AM   #7
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Leave an 11 year old without seeing them in the care and custody of a responsible adult? An 11 year old girl?

No way in HELL!

Sorry- did not mean to yell. Do these idiots ever watch the news?

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Old 10-07-2013, 02:09 AM   #8
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When I was about 15 I used to go camping with my friends. We did not go with parents. It was just us teenagers. We would disappear for a couple of days at a time. But this was different world back then. My wife drives my son to school every day. We live far enough that he could ride the bus for free. But she like to drive him. My wife is a little over-protective. I would trust my son to make reasonably good decisions. But I don't trust the rest of the world. He will be 15 in a few weeks. I would trust him to go to the mall with a couple of guys that we know. But not strangers. No way would I just drop him off somewhere.

If we were talking girls...NO FREAKING WAY!!! I am not too worried about some sicko trying to rape my 15 year old 6' 3" son. Once again...daughter? NO FREAKING WAY!!!!

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Old 10-07-2013, 02:53 AM   #9
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I am not a parent but I was a teacher for a few years and I am an aunt. I played middle school and high school sports when I was younger as well. There is NO WAY I would leave an eleven-year-old girl at any school sponsored event unless there was an responsible, trusted adult already present to supervise. Even if your child is very responsible, there is too much that can happen that would be completely out of her control. If the school was not providing transportation, I would want to know that appropriate transportation was arranged in advance and who was driving. My middle school was likely similar to your daughter's- small private school without a bus. However, there were responsible adults present and my parents knew who was driving. There is a big difference between knowing that Coach Bob and Sally's mom will be driving on a regular basis or that a certain group of parents will be taking turns vs. knowing that 'someone' will hopefully be there to drive them or Sally's stepfather's cousin's nephew whom you have never heard of before will drive them.

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Old 10-07-2013, 03:28 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Rick1967 View Post
When I was about 15 I used to go camping with my friends. We did not go with parents. It was just us teenagers. We would disappear for a couple of days at a time. But this was different world back then. My wife drives my son to school every day. We live far enough that he could ride the bus for free. But she like to drive him. My wife is a little over-protective. I would trust my son to make reasonably good decisions. But I don't trust the rest of the world. He will be 15 in a few weeks. I would trust him to go to the mall with a couple of guys that we know. But not strangers. No way would I just drop him off somewhere.

If we were talking girls...NO FREAKING WAY!!! I am not too worried about some sicko trying to rape my 15 year old 6' 3" son. Once again...daughter? NO FREAKING WAY!!!!

Me too but as you say it was a different world back then. Our back yard was against the backyards of the people on the main road. My best friend at the time lived across the street, behind his back yard there was nothing for about 5 miles but an abandoned stone quarry. We disappeared into it for as long as we could get away with. Not nearly the same as getting dumped off with no adults around.


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I am not a parent but I was a teacher for a few years and I am an aunt. I played middle school and high school sports when I was younger as well. There is NO WAY I would leave an eleven-year-old girl at any school sponsored event unless there was an responsible, trusted adult already present to supervise. Even if your child is very responsible, there is too much that can happen that would be completely out of her control. If the school was not providing transportation, I would want to know that appropriate transportation was arranged in advance and who was driving. My middle school was likely similar to your daughter's- small private school without a bus. However, there were responsible adults present and my parents knew who was driving. There is a big difference between knowing that Coach Bob and Sally's mom will be driving on a regular basis or that a certain group of parents will be taking turns vs. knowing that 'someone' will hopefully be there to drive them or Sally's stepfather's cousin's nephew whom you have never heard of before will drive them.

This is the exact situation I was talking about. I have no problem helping out, but these girls were dumped off with no idea who was going to drive them. If asked I would have volunteered, but it turned out that I was the only option. If I had dropped my daughter off as the rest of the parents had they could not have gotten to the game.

This is something of a coaching problem, nobody is planning this stuff ahead, but you can't just dump your kids off on their own.

Only 3 games left in the season, Monday, Thursday, and Saturday then it is not an issue any more, I just needed to know that I was not insane.

As a quick aside I was 14 when "Star Wars" came out, my mom called my buddies mom to see if he was permitted to see a "pg" movie before she would let me go to see it. I think it was the first "pg" movie I had seen.


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