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You DON'T want to hear.....


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Old 07-21-2013, 03:36 PM   #41
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On a submarine from a new guy as we are doing an initial dive: "Hey Doc, is there supposed to be that much water coming in over by berthing?"

Or,

Hey Doc, you ever see anything this jacked up before?

Hey Doc, is this normal?

Hey Doc, it burns when I pee.

Hey Doc, the Captain wants to see you.

Hey Doc, you're never gonna believe this.

Hey Doc, maybe you can settle this, was what he did with a prostitute worse than what I did, or not? (My reply was, "I think you both need shots, lab tests, and to pay attention when I give training")

The 1MC (overhead speaker) coming to life: " Corpsman lay to...(name a location". Always means someone is hurt.

In the field: "Corpsman up...!" Means someone's hurt.

Hearing a bus driver say: "this is gonna suck" at the same time you hear brakes locking, and tires squealing.
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:45 PM   #42
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Default WW two Medic..............

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Originally Posted by SSGN_Doc View Post
On a submarine from a new guy as we are doing an initial dive: "Hey Doc, is there supposed to be that much water coming in over by berthing?"

Or,

Hey Doc, you ever see anything this jacked up before?

Hey Doc, is this normal?

Hey Doc, it burns when I pee.

Hey Doc, the Captain wants to see you.

Hey Doc, you're never gonna believe this.

Hey Doc, maybe you can settle this, was what he did with a prostitute worse than what I did, or not? (My reply was, "I think you both need shots, lab tests, and to pay attention when I give training")

The 1MC (overhead speaker) coming to life: " Corpsman lay to...(name a location". Always means someone is hurt.

In the field: "Corpsman up...!" Means someone's hurt.

Hearing a bus driver say: "this is gonna suck" at the same time you hear brakes locking, and tires squealing.
I want my Momma........................
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:51 PM   #43
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No! "Thanks for volunteering!!!!!"
“I need three volunteers! You, You and You!"
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:58 PM   #44
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My saying "Oh SH!T", followed by my name being screamed.

Wife's oldest son called her at work after school one day "We have a bit of a situation here".
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"Then tell me this: Why would you want to hang around people that get uncomfortable, or even scared, about that kind of thing?" "Maybe to feel normal," I said. He laughed. "Normal's not all it's cracked up to be." "You think?" "Hell, I know." - from Spirits In The Wires, by Charles de Lint.
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Old 07-21-2013, 04:32 PM   #45
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Sitting on the bridge of the USS Holland and you hear "General Quarters, General Quarters this is no drill. We have a Delta Situation, Set Condition Zebra"

A Delta Condition was a code for an incident with the Poseidon ballistic missiles on our ship. Turns out they dropped one back into the missile magazine when the brakes failed on the crane lifting it.
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Last edited by DFlynt; 07-21-2013 at 06:28 PM.
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Old 07-21-2013, 04:34 PM   #46
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Sitting on the bridge of the USS Holland and you hear "General Quarters, General Quarters this is no drill. We have a Delta Situation, Set Condition Zebra"

A Zebra Condition was a code for an incident with the Poseidon ballistic missiles on our ship. Turns out they dropped one back into the missile magazine when the brakes failed on the crane lifting it.
Oh ****, assume the position.........................
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Old 07-21-2013, 04:42 PM   #47
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Doctor who while looking at your test results says now we have a reason to go in!????
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Old 07-21-2013, 04:48 PM   #48
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Oh ****, assume the position.........................
We were lucky that day, missile went back down into the magazine slightly faster than they were lifting it out, landed on back its storage pad at an angle. The two guys in the magazine started to run then realized there was nowhere to go, one went to the psych ward for a while, the other eventually became my BiL (now ex-BiL). I did not envy the EOD guys that week at all! We were more worried about the booster firing and cutting the ship in half than a nuclear detonation.
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Old 07-21-2013, 05:05 PM   #49
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On a first date...."You know I'm a dude, right?"
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EFFIN' TOF...
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Old 07-21-2013, 05:13 PM   #50
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Your son informing you that his sister won't share her "pez" while holding up a little flat semi round case
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