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Old 08-09-2009, 07:32 PM   #1
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Default "You actually believed me?"

I once told ex-Mrs. skullcrusher that the stop signs with a white border are optional when she got on me for rolling thru a stop sign. "If no one else is around, you don't need to make a full stop. You don't remember that from driver's ed?"

The next day, she was out with her father. He asked me if I told her that they were optional? "Yes, she did not need to tell me I rolled thru one. I was driving, I knew what I was doing." He laughed so hard when he told me that she was driving and rolled thru one, so he said something to her. She said, "Optional, it has the white border."

I said to her, "You actually believed me when I said that the stop signs with a white border are optional?"

Now, give up your stories of "You actually believed me when I said..."

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Old 08-09-2009, 07:48 PM   #2
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I unintentionally convinced a friend that the white cheese dip at a local Tex-Mex place was made with Chihuahua cheese (true) and that Chihuahua cheese is made from the milk of Chihuahua dogs milked by children (smaller fingers).

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Old 08-09-2009, 08:22 PM   #3
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Last week there was an intensive search for a guy who parked his car on a bridge in this area and jumped 90' into the river. He was eventually found clinging to a buoy, covered in jellyfish stings and really ready to get out of the water.
Turns out that he really believed that his drinking buddy was going to jump, too!
Man who jumped into York River found alive, covered with jellyfish stings | HamptonRoads.com | PilotOnline.com

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Old 08-09-2009, 08:37 PM   #4
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Took the kids, ages 4 & 6, on their first trip to the beach. Virginia Beach. Standing on the sand, with them looking at the ocean, they asked what was "over there"?

Explained that their Mom was from England, England was on the other side of the ocean, and if you looked REALLY REALLY hard, right over there.....

WHACK!

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Old 08-10-2009, 02:35 AM   #5
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.....I'd respect you in the morning? I didn't respect you last night!

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Old 08-10-2009, 02:44 AM   #6
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Back when I was fighting forest fires, we got these three inner city kids from East Lansing, MI to come work with us on some special program. They had never been in the forests in their lives and one of them was complaining about the flies that seemed to be bother flying around his head. I asked him, "did you freeze your head at all today?" He was like wtf? So I said, the secret to keeping the flies off your head was to stick you head in the freezer for about 5 minutes and the freon would keep the flies away. He looked at me all dubious, and then I pointed out the other guys in the dorm who were with me...the flies weren't bothering them.

He agreed and proceeded to stick his head in the freezer. meanwhile I was getting anyone and everyone still in the dorms to peak through the window and watch him. One of his inner city buddies saw him with his head in the freezer and asks him "What the hell are you doing?" He replies, "I'm freezing my head to keep the flies away." The friend looked over at the group of us at the window covering our mouths and laughing, and he says, "I got next."

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Old 08-10-2009, 11:20 PM   #7
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I asked a girlfriend if she knew why the telephone in a hotel room had that red light that blinks when the phone rings? She said it was so you could find the phone in the dark (not a bad answer). I explained that it was for deaf people, that way they knew they had an incomming call. I never set her right and enjoyed it when she told a few people about it. Imagine if that was the purpose...after seeing the light and anwsering the phone what would a deaf person do?

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Old 08-10-2009, 11:45 PM   #8
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That's a good one. I guess she never got a message...

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Old 08-11-2009, 01:51 PM   #9
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...after seeing the light and anwsering the phone what would a deaf person do?
They would put the handset on their TTY and have a conversation just like they do at home.
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Old 08-11-2009, 02:40 PM   #10
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A few years back, I let a really loud fart rip in the living room. My girls were in their rooms playing dolls, or whatever in the hell girls do. They came running in the living room and asked what that sound was, and I told them it was a barking spider. We moved about four years ago, and they asked me if the new house was infested with barking spiders. They actually believed that for almost five years!

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