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Old 05-15-2013, 06:04 PM   #21
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Just had a major fight with my girlfired of 6+ years last night...

Long story short here real quick. She just graduated with an associate's degree the other day (still has her PTA degree to do and has been accepted into the program already.) Last night she stops and says she feels that "I'm going nowhere fast".

Although a couple months ago I was just promoted to a manager position at work making $15.75/hr +OT.

I've always took good care of this girl. I feel like now that she has a college degree she is on a high horse. (I never finished college when I had this job offer.) When I said this is struck a nerve to the point where I belive I hit the nail right on the head. Now she's talking about a "break" like we all don't known how that one always plays out...

Life...
I'll premise my advice with the same opening statement we give folks we work with through premarital counseling. This advice is not at all meant to keep you together, it is designed to find any reason why you shouldn't be together.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

It appears she's looking for an out... appears. She has just finished a major life event and is likely reevaluating many things, you included.

I recommend you have a very frank talk with her. Tell her you don't like the way you feel when she says these things or treats you that way. If you want to continue, make sure she knows that. But giver her an out. Tell her if she doesn't want to keep going, then it will be hard, but you understand.

Then see what she does.
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Old 05-15-2013, 06:10 PM   #22
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Find a nice curb and kick her a$$ to it.

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Old 05-15-2013, 06:13 PM   #23
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Is the amount of money you are making is the issue? If so, remember the good times.

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Old 05-15-2013, 06:23 PM   #24
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Do you: 1. Own your own boat? 2. Like to hunt? 3. Like to fish? Lol, just kidding, I'm happily married
own a boat? Nope, I'm a lan lubber, and enjoy watching my friends do all the upkeep on theirs!

Hunt, yep, I grew up in the back yards of the Wind River Range and Bridger National forest as well as The Grand Teton national park.

Fish? Only rarely, cuz I hate the smell of it all on my hands.


Sorry to TShooter, but as others have said let her go. If you are 'all that', she will regret it. if you hound her, she will hate you in the end.
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Old 05-15-2013, 06:45 PM   #25
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own a boat? Nope, I'm a lan lubber, and enjoy watching my friends do all the upkeep on theirs!
Yeah, heard an old man say once, "if it flies, floats, or fooks, rent it."
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Old 05-15-2013, 06:51 PM   #26
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Old 05-15-2013, 07:17 PM   #27
I want either less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it.
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If it's your 'lack' of earnings - you don't want to be a sugar daddy anymore. Sounds like you couldn't afford her now anyways now that she has her associates degree. PTA's meet a lot of people - very social occupation. Had a friend lose his wife when she got her 'degree' as a massage therapist. Best thing that ever happened to him once he got over the slap in the face.

So 6 years and she's done with 2-3 years of college. That would put you together in high school, and everyone matures and becomes different over those years.

Sex was good - not so good now? Meh, if that's her turn off, maybe the problem is her.

Her friends don't like you and she's apparently influanced by them - well there's your answer. She's not committed and her friends are bitche$. Not a group I'd want to hang with and you'll never fit in anyways, because she doesn't want you to fit in. If she really cared, she'd tell her friends to knock it off.

Sorry if my observations are off, but sounds like the same old story most people go through at some point in our lives. After 6 years, I'd be heartbroken too. You deserve some sort of more honest answer than what she's giving you. But...don't force a relationship to happen that just isn't meant to be. If you're a nice, hard working guy, it doesn't matter what you do or how much you make - there's a girl out there that will love you for who you are, not what she wants you to be. Move on. If she comes back, think twice, take it slow, and reevaluate if she's really 'the one.' And for what it's worth, if you really want to go back to college or a trade school, it's never too late. Do something you love with your life - it's too short anyways.

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Old 05-15-2013, 07:21 PM   #28
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If it's your 'lack' of earnings - you don't want to be a sugar daddy anymore. Sounds like you couldn't afford her now anyways now that she has her associates degree. PTA's meet a lot of people - very social occupation. Had a friend lose his wife when she got her 'degree' as a massage therapist. Best thing that ever happened to him once he got over the slap in the face.

So 6 years and she's done with 2-3 years of college. That would put you together in high school, and everyone matures and becomes different over those years.

Sex was good - not so good now? Meh, if that's her turn off, maybe the problem is her.

Her friends don't like you and she's apparently influanced by them - well there's your answer. She's not committed and her friends are bitche$. Not a group I'd want to hang with and you'll never fit in anyways, because she doesn't want you to fit in. If she really cared, she'd tell her friends to knock it off.

Sorry if my observations are off, but sounds like the same old story most people go through at some point in our lives. After 6 years, I'd be heartbroken too. You deserve some sort of more honest answer than what she's giving you. But...don't force a relationship to happen that just isn't meant to be. If you're a nice, hard working guy, it doesn't matter what you do or how much you make - there's a girl out there that will love you for who you are, not what she wants you to be. Move on. If she comes back, think twice, take it slow, and reevaluate if she's really 'the one.' And for what it's worth, if you really want to go back to college or a trade school, it's never too late. Do something you love with your life - it's too short anyways.
You spied on me the last couple of years? You dirty rotten so-and-so...
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Old 05-15-2013, 07:25 PM   #29
I want either less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it.
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You spied on me the last couple of years? You dirty rotten so-and-so...
Like I said - happens to everyone.
And look at you now - met the woman of your dreams!
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Old 05-15-2013, 07:32 PM   #30
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Tshoot, I feel for you. I married wrong once, but I just passed my 20th anniversary with the RIGHT woman, so I'll try to help you with the many years of my wisdom. :-)

First, there are many reasons why she might be talking this way. She may feel that you are no longer intellectual equals because she is now "degreed" and has "intelligent" friends. She may have met a guy that is telling her she can do better with him. Also, the friend of hers that you're "on the outs" with may be telling her she can do better just to spite you. Her parents/family may be doing the same thing. It takes a strong person to stand up to peer pressure, and most can't resist it forever.

Second, there is a reason that relationships go through a "seven year itch." Married or not, humans tend to re-evaluate their life every seven years. If you've been with her six, she's thinking that you're not committed to her and somebody else will be. This was something you should think long and hard about: ARE you committed to HER? Or was it just comfortable while you looked for something better? Answer very, very carefully - quit lying to yourself.

Once she puts breaking up on the table, DON'T chase her! She may be trying to "draw you out" or she may be serious. Either way, act like you think it's the best idea in the world. Either kick her out TODAY or pack up and leave yourself. If she is trying to draw you into a commitment, she will come after you. If she seriously wanted to end it, it's easier for you both and you get to get over it and move on faster.

When we are younger, we tend to obsess and let emotions make our decisions. When you get older, you realize that all the crying, arguing and chasing did absolutely no good. Think about it: Even if you get her to stay, she'll be unhappy because she's trapped. If you lower yourself to chasing and begging her to come back, she won't respect you, and you won't respect yourself because she owns you.

Retreat, re-evaluate, re-assess, then do what you know is right. Be honest and realistic with yourself, or, as Shakespeare put it, "To thine own self be true."

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