Why Parents Drink.....
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Old 02-18-2011, 02:37 AM   #1
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Default Why Parents Drink.....

I requisitioned this for some parent revue. I found it funny...and very spot on, at the same time.

Why Parents Drink


A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John


PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Timmy's house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center desk drawer.


I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

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Old 02-18-2011, 02:39 AM   #2
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Very good
I'm stealing

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Old 02-18-2011, 02:41 AM   #3
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I lol'd

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Old 02-18-2011, 03:06 AM   #4
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Wish I had thought of that when I was a kid. Would have saved me many a session with the belt!

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Old 02-18-2011, 03:13 AM   #5
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Why couldn't I have been that smart?!?! wait a minute...DANG!

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Old 02-18-2011, 03:17 AM   #6
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I was a hockey player, and I was tough. I met everything head on. Lost every one of those with my Dad on report cards. Maybe I should have put on a helmet, and I might have been smart enough to write that. Could not have hurt like some of the report cards did.

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Old 02-18-2011, 03:21 AM   #7
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This remindes me of what my cousin did to my aunt 4 years ago... He wrapped about 12 christmas gifts and all of them contained infant clothes. he then gave her a really sincere card saying that he loved her and hoped she wouldnt be mad and that she was goin to be a grandmother. my aunt was thrilled and wanted to call his girlfriend right way. except my cousin had to tell her it was a joke. she kicked his @$$ all over the place because she wanted to be a grandmother and he lied to her! pretty interesting christmas to say the least!

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Old 02-18-2011, 04:04 AM   #8
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Old 02-18-2011, 04:09 AM   #9
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Perspective...

But that letter would not have worked on my mom.

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