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Old 03-17-2014, 03:52 AM   #11
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The mental shift required to transition from being a bad ass with a big gun to rejoining society as a Citizen is a complex and often frustrating endeavor for all who served.

Took me the better part of 17 years and I was "and am" blessed with a loving wife and children. I can't imaging the difficulties for Vets doing this alone.

For me, holding it together came down to my sense of responsibility to the woman I married, the children I fathered, and the parents who sacrificed to raise me.

Ultimately... It took the realization that I was unconditionally loved by God, and saved by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

It was a little over a year ago when I recognized this and it was as though 10,000 pounds fell off my shoulders.

Today, I walk without fear of tomorrow. I live in the moment and cherish every second of life, enjoying the many blessing The Lord has bestowed upon me.

I don't mean to sound "preachy" and respect the religious opinions of others but this is what brought me peace and I pray that sharing it may bring the same peace to more of my brothers.

Tack

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Old 03-17-2014, 04:38 AM   #12
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Thank you to all of you who have served. We are deeply in your debt.

I cannot begin to fathom what you might be going through, I only cringe at what our government has failed to do to make things more survivable for you. I can't help but to think at how far they have advanced in battlefield medical treatment, getting wounded soldiers stabilized and into hospitals. They are saving bodies. bringing bodies back home alive, but then failing to treat the minds in them that were wounded as well, sometimes to a much greater degree than the body. how can we as a nation possibly reconcile that if the VA fails to recognize it?
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Old 03-17-2014, 04:51 AM   #13
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Thank you to all of you who have served. We are deeply in your debt.

I cannot begin to fathom what you might be going through, I only cringe at what our government has failed to do to make things more survivable for you. I can't help but to think at how far they have advanced in battlefield medical treatment, getting wounded soldiers stabilized and into hospitals. They are saving bodies. bringing bodies back home alive, but then failing to treat the minds in them that were wounded as well, sometimes to a much greater degree than the body. how can we as a nation possibly reconcile that if the VA fails to recognize it?
well said Vikingdad.

we owe all of our servicemen and woman a debt of gratitude for the sacrifices they make. anything we can do to make their transitions back to civilian life after their military service is what we should be doing.

in many ways, our government is failing these men and women in providing them the help they need.
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Old 03-17-2014, 06:17 AM   #14
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First, I want to thank everyone for their service.

I served during peacetime. I have no battle scars. When I was discharged I didn't know what I was going to do. I exercised racehorses for a living before I joined the Marine corps. I started going back to the track. I ran into a trainer that I had worked for in the past. He offered me a job. I accepted the job. Two years later he set me up with my own stable on the CA fair circuit. I began to prosper once I had my own stable.

If I had not got into horse racing I might have the same issues as many veterans. I have problems holding a regular job. There has to be excitement in my job. I do best in high pressure jobs where you are measured by your performance. Since my health has gone downhill I can't run a stable any longer, but I am still tied to horse racing. I would just sit here and rot if I wasn't involved with racing.

I hope that other veterans can find the peace or excitement that they require to live a happy life.
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Old 03-17-2014, 01:00 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Tackleberry1 View Post
The mental shift required to transition from being a bad ass with a big gun to rejoining society as a Citizen is a complex and often frustrating endeavor for all who served.

Took me the better part of 17 years and I was "and am" blessed with a loving wife and children. I can't imaging the difficulties for Vets doing this alone.

For me, holding it together came down to my sense of responsibility to the woman I married, the children I fathered, and the parents who sacrificed to raise me.

Ultimately... It took the realization that I was unconditionally loved by God, and saved by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

It was a little over a year ago when I recognized this and it was as though 10,000 pounds fell off my shoulders.

Today, I walk without fear of tomorrow. I live in the moment and cherish every second of life, enjoying the many blessing The Lord has bestowed upon me.

I don't mean to sound "preachy" and respect the religious opinions of others but this is what brought me peace and I pray that sharing it may bring the same peace to more of my brothers.

Tack
First and foremost thank you for your service! I'm glad that you came to the conclusion that you did , and I'm sure many do not or certainly struggle to find it. Living in fear is not really living at all, and just know that you found the peace you did, because the good Lord chose you to receive this blessing and to reveal Himself to you!
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Old 03-17-2014, 01:27 PM   #16
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If I had not got into horse racing I might have the same issues as many veterans. I have problems holding a regular job. There has to be excitement in my job. I do best in high pressure jobs where you are measured by your performance.
I hope that other veterans can find the peace or excitement that they require to live a happy life.
This is a huge issue I've had. I was infantry, on the front lines 24/7, taking it to the enemy, kicking doors and cracking skulls. There IS NO civilian job that requires that kind of skill set. I tried to go the PMC route, but all they want are special forces. While I'm special operations qualified, that's not the same. It basically means you've had better training than most regular grunts, and really isn't even that much to brag about. I dropped out of sniper school and passed the indoc test for SEALs. That puts NO operational experience under your belt and doesn't even show up on my DD214.

Tackleberry mentioned the support of family and his faith. I was married to someone who made it difficult to have a relationship with herself, my family, or my faith. The only constant I've had since being discharged, is my son. Which is only part of the reason I'll move heaven and conguer hell for him. It's for him. But it gives me another fight to win.

I've thought of suicide often. Less often as time goes by. But there's always a fight that has to be fought. I've hurt myself emotionally and physically by pushing my limits whenever I can.

For some, there simply is no recovering. The most formative years of my life were spent with only one mindset, "KILL KILL KILL". You don't just get over that overnight. And the thrill of that situation where you're hanging on to the rush, not even caring at the moment whether you live or die but only in love with the fight that makes you feel alive, and completely lost in insanity, there is nothing on God's green earth that can erase it.

When you begin to wake up every morning, feeling remorse for having left the fight behind, the battlefield you've lost brothers on, and that you revisit every night in your dreams, and the words that roll through your mind, completely unexpected and without warning, are, "Once upon a time, I was a God." Then, and only then, will some people really know the feeling of being lost.
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Old 03-17-2014, 03:34 PM   #17
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God loves you Brother... just like me an every other Grunt.

The wife helped to keep me out of trouble until I found salvation.. but she never represented salvation.

I pray that next Sunday will find you in a Church. I was stunned to find that all I needed to do was make the decision to be present in the Lords house, on his terms, and within less that 2 months, he revealed his blessings to me.

It is a happiness and a peace I cant describe but if I were to try, I'd ask you to remember being 6 years old, spent from a day of swimming at the lake, and resting, content in the safety of the arms of the most trusted adult in your life at that time.

It's out there for you too Trip, all you need to do is seek it.

Good luck Brother.

Tack

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This is a huge issue I've had. I was infantry, on the front lines 24/7, taking it to the enemy, kicking doors and cracking skulls. There IS NO civilian job that requires that kind of skill set. I tried to go the PMC route, but all they want are special forces. While I'm special operations qualified, that's not the same. It basically means you've had better training than most regular grunts, and really isn't even that much to brag about. I dropped out of sniper school and passed the indoc test for SEALs. That puts NO operational experience under your belt and doesn't even show up on my DD214.

Tackleberry mentioned the support of family and his faith. I was married to someone who made it difficult to have a relationship with herself, my family, or my faith. The only constant I've had since being discharged, is my son. Which is only part of the reason I'll move heaven and conguer hell for him. It's for him. But it gives me another fight to win.

I've thought of suicide often. Less often as time goes by. But there's always a fight that has to be fought. I've hurt myself emotionally and physically by pushing my limits whenever I can.

For some, there simply is no recovering. The most formative years of my life were spent with only one mindset, "KILL KILL KILL". You don't just get over that overnight. And the thrill of that situation where you're hanging on to the rush, not even caring at the moment whether you live or die but only in love with the fight that makes you feel alive, and completely lost in insanity, there is nothing on God's green earth that can erase it.

When you begin to wake up every morning, feeling remorse for having left the fight behind, the battlefield you've lost brothers on, and that you revisit every night in your dreams, and the words that roll through your mind, completely unexpected and without warning, are, "Once upon a time, I was a God." Then, and only then, will some people really know the feeling of being lost.
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Old 03-17-2014, 03:57 PM   #18
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I've just recently gotten back into church. It has been hard. Finding one that I click with. Churches have their own personalities the same as individual people.

But, Sue and I have found one that we've actually liked enough (both of us) to visit more than once. It's Crossroads Baptist church in Crossroads Louisiana. Mostly older congregation, with a handful of folks my age, and a great children's program that Sue has absolutely fallen in love with.
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Old 03-17-2014, 05:25 PM   #19
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It's been almost 49 years since I "mustered out." (1965)

But I still dream that I'm "back in" at least once or twice a month. And I still get a feeling of pride every time one of the local Air Guard C130s flies over.
Some things just never leave you.

I think every veteran looks back on his service days as the high point in his life. The time in your life when you knew who you were, what you were, and you were proud of it.
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Old 03-17-2014, 07:35 PM   #20
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It's been almost 49 years since I "mustered out." (1965)

But I still dream that I'm "back in" at least once or twice a month. And I still get a feeling of pride every time one of the local Air Guard C130s flies over.
Some things just never leave you.

I think every veteran looks back on his service days as the high point in his life. The time in your life when you knew who you were, what you were, and you were proud of it.
Amen Loc... We call the "formative" years for a reason.
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