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sarge_257 11-23-2010 05:35 PM

What happens after a wedding?
 
In our last Saga we had Sarge and Little Linda getting married in Las Vegas.* Now we open this scene 9 months later.
Sarge has spent the Sunday afternoon at the Rifle Range practicing with his Pistols, Machine Guns and Tanks. He had so much fun that he came home late. So as soon as he slips into the house he grabs the newspaper and heads for the couch trying to make it look like he has been there for hours.
Enter Lt. Linda:
She is tapping her foot and looking at her watch. (OhOh Sarge is in trouble)
Sarge ignores her and hopes she doesn't notice the gunsmoke on his face and the smell of Hoppes #9 on his hands. (for you non-gun people Hoppes #9 is a popular brand of gun bore cleaner)
Sarge peeks out of behind the paper and asks "What's the matter?"
Linda: "Quiet I am counting them."
"OK.................counting what?"
"Five minutes now" says Linda
"Five minutes? Honest Honey I have been home for hours." says Sarge
"Owww there is another one."*
"Another what?" asks Sarge and puts the paper that he has been holding upside down, on the coffee table.
"Pains" says Lt. Linda.
"Pains?" asks Sarge
"Yes they are coming every 5 min. now" explains Lt. Linda
Pains? Pains, Pains!*Yelps Sarge and leaps over the coffee table in two bounds. He is at Lt Linda's side and yells "What do I do now!!"
"Get the suitcase*Sarge," Calmly replies Lt. Linda.
"Suitcase,suitcase,suitcase" mumbles Sarge as races to the bedroom. Not there, he runs to the other bedroom, throws open the closet doors, looks under the beds, searches behind the dressers.* Frantic he gallops back to the front room wailing, "I can't find the suitcase!!" Lt. Linda points to the suitcase sitting on the floor beside the*front door. Sarge grabs the suitcase, races out the door, throws it in Linda's 1952 Chevrolet, starts it up and backs out of the driveway.* Squeellllll!!. He jumps out of the car and runs to Lt. Linda standing on the porch.
"We got to go, my wife is having a baby. I mean you are having a baby. Go to the Hospital I'll meet you at the car, I mean LETS GO! Finally Lt. Linda and Sarge is in the car and headed toward the Hospital.
After running two stop signs, hitting a mail box and a street sign Sarge calms down to his usual steely eyed, in command personality and weaves in*and out of traffic honking his horn.
At last the*Hospital Emergency Room enterance looms out of the dark and *Sarge slams on the brakes, leaps out and attempts to drag Lt. Linda from the car. She plummets him with her tiny fists and commands, "Sargent! Get the suitcase ASAP!"
Sarge snaps to attention, salutes and wrestles the suitcase out of the car, following Lt. Linda as she calmly walks to the Emergency Room door.
"KOWABUNGA!!" Sarge exclaims. It must have been the Broncos and Steelers game tonight. The Emergency Room is filled and a long line is at the admissions desk. Sarge gets in line, Lt Linda eases herself down in a chair with a look of pain on her face. Sarge fidgets, checks on Linda, she is slowly sinking to a prone position.
Sarge stomps to the front of the line. The Head Nurse stares at him and with a haughty tone of voice, declares. "You'll have to wait in line!" and points to the lines end.
Sarge draws a big breath, sticks his face only inches away from her long hairy nose and says, "Well my baby is not waiting in line, he is being born right now in that chair!" Pointing at Lt. Linda who by now, is as straight as a board and pushing.
"Oh Dear!" squeaks the nurse, jumps up, grabs a wheel chair and scoops Lt. Linda up and runs down the hall to a Exam Room.
Just then a heavy hand falls on Sarge's shoulder. Before he can react he is pushed and pulled into a supply room. There Lt. Linda's Doctor starts throwing green gowns at Sarge. "Try these on!" he barks. "But but but" stutters Sarge,"I don't work here!"* "You do now Soldier, I have only one nurse on duty. I need you to assist in the Delivery Room!"
Three minutes later Sarge clad in green gown, mask, doctor hat and booties is dragged, struggling into Lt Linda's Exam Room. The Doctor quickly checks her and shouts, "We don't have time for the Delivery Room, Sarge, unfasten the end of the bed and lower it."* Sarge grabs the bedstead, pulls. pushes, tugs. "Lift it !" shouts the Doctor.* YES SIR! Shouts Sarge. And tears the end of the bed off. The Doctor blinks and then quickly recovers. "Set it over there against the wall Sargent."
Now hold your wife's hand and gently rub her belly." "Yes Sir" says Sarge and begins to rub vigorously. "Gently Sarge don't give her a nuggy burn" "YEEOW" Says Lt. Linda.* And the Doctor says happily, "HE IS HERE!"
"Who is here?" asks Sarge.
"Your son Sargent," beams the Doctor and then turns and plops a squirming little baby into Sarges out stretched hands.
"My God what do I do now?" Sarge thinks. "What ever I do don't drop him"
Sarge looks at Lt Linda. Her face is sweat covered but with a radient glow. She smiles. Sarge smiles back and the baby screams. "Healthy one isn't he?" says the Doctor. The nurse has finished and takes the baby from Sarge and puts him in a small crib. Sarge stands there, his arms still outstretched, his knees begin to shake, he feels weak, his head feals light and he thinks to himself, "This is crazy. I am going to faint!"* Lt Linda's voice comes through the fog, "Sarge you had better call my Mother" Gratefully Sarge sinks into a chair and fumbles the phone to his ear. After all the family is advised of the event Lt. Linda asks Sarge, "What will we name him, Sarge?"
*"Sweetheart," says Sarge, "His name was picked 7 years ago by his brothers."
"Me and the boys talked about it and we decided any new brothers would get a name that was a gift from both of them. So we took the "TR" from Troy's name and the "ENT" from Kents name and came up with Trent.
So folks and Webb chatters that was the birthday of Private Trent 21 years ago. And he is a fine young man, going to College and working two jobs.

Neophyte1 11-23-2010 05:58 PM

Family
 
Sir; another wonderful story. I think maybe my ''son'' story; hahha;
she got ''even'' with me hahhaha

Congratulations; to Trent; for having such a Mother n Father. Admirations abound.:)

sarge_257 11-24-2010 02:05 AM

Trent is born.
 
Thanks for the praise Neo. Our son is special to us. You see my other two sons died. One before Trent was born and the other when Trent was 16 yrs old. So his name means a lot more to us than we thought when we came up with it.
Sarge

mach1337 11-24-2010 02:39 AM

Sarge another great story. my daugther will be 2 months old in about 12 hours. Not looking foward to seeing her grow up but I am all the same. Hopefully 21 years from now i will be able to share a similar story on how we got her name. Congrats!!! Now go have a beer with him since its legal now(that is if you drink)...

zhuk 11-24-2010 04:20 AM

Wonderful story, capturing the adrenalin-filled moment perfectly!


Sounds like you have a lot of well-deserved pride in your son Sarge. A credit to his parents obviously :)

sarge_257 11-25-2010 04:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mach1337 (Post 391220)
Sarge another great story. my daugther will be 2 months old in about 12 hours. Not looking foward to seeing her grow up but I am all the same. Hopefully 21 years from now i will be able to share a similar story on how we got her name. Congrats!!! Now go have a beer with him since its legal now(that is if you drink)...

I don't drink but Trent and I are going to the range this Saturday and I hope he doesn't out shoot me. LOL
Sarge

sarge_257 11-25-2010 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zhuk (Post 391288)
Wonderful story, capturing the adrenalin-filled moment perfectly!


Sounds like you have a lot of well-deserved pride in your son Sarge. A credit to his parents obviously :)

He has come through some hard times. He was born with dysplexy and no one at his school knew what it was. They just thought he was acting up when he said he couldn't read the black board or his books. We didn't know anything about that medical problem nor had ever heard of it. It was his older sister that saved the day. She was attending college and studying to be a special education teacher. She found it in her course books and thought imediatly that it might be her brothers problem. She called the school and set up a meeting with the pricipal, the school counselor and Linda and myself. Our little girl took over and read the school counselor the riot act for not refering her brother to a medical doctor. Everyone just sat back and stared at her, but when it was over our son was refered to a optometrist and Trent spent a year of treatments to cure his eye problem. His eye muscles are now retrained so he can move them normally and with the glasses he wears he can see and read now.
He is a fighter and doesn't give up. I guess he gets that from his parents.

zhuk 11-25-2010 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarge_257 (Post 391843)
He has come through some hard times. He was born with dysplexy and no one at his school knew what it was. They just thought he was acting up when he said he couldn't read the black board or his books. We didn't know anything about that medical problem nor had ever heard of it. It was his older sister that saved the day. She was attending college and studying to be a special education teacher. She found it in her course books and thought imediatly that it might be her brothers problem. She called the school and set up a meeting with the pricipal, the school counselor and Linda and myself. Our little girl took over and read the school counselor the riot act for not refering her brother to a medical doctor. Everyone just sat back and stared at her, but when it was over our son was refered to a optometrist and Trent spent a year of treatments to cure his eye problem. His eye muscles are now retrained so he can move them normally and with the glasses he wears he can see and read now.
He is a fighter and doesn't give up. I guess he gets that from his parents.


Well his sister shows similar guts...and in never giving up the fight you've taught him one of life's most valuable lessons http://www.mazeguy.net/happy/thumbsup.gif

I wish I'd learned that a lot earlier than I did!

sarge_257 11-25-2010 06:19 PM

Big Sister
 
Trent's sister is of course his half sister. It is obvious she takes after her mother rather than her father. (she is also taller than her real father Glenn Sr. LOL) she is a fine woman and I wish she had been my daughter but all I ever could make was boy babies. She taught Special Education at a Jr. High School in Denver for 20 yrs. If you are familiar with the problems Special Ed kids have it is a miracle that she lasted that long. She was then promoted to Director of all Special Education teachers in the District. She is still unmarried having dedicated her life to helping children like her little brother Glenn.
Sarge

Davyboy 11-25-2010 06:53 PM

Wow these stories just get better. Had a funny turn thinking of the moment when the doc puts that little bungle in you aqrms for the first time. D:


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