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08-04-2009, 09:09 PM
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#1
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Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 47
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What to do on a plane if the passenger next to you is irritating:
What to do on a plane if the passenger next to you is irritating:
1- Remove your lap top from its bag
2- Open the laptop slowly and carefully
3- Turn on
4- Ensure the passenger next to you is watching
5- Turn on the Internet
6- Close your eyes for a brief moment, open them again, turn your
gaze upwards to the skies as if in prayer
7- Take a deep breath and open this site
The End!!!!
8-Observe the facial expression of your neighboring passenger 
__________________
Always carry never tell.
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08-04-2009, 09:12 PM
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#2
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Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 3,885
Liked 4 Times on 4 Posts
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Gay porn and a coat over my lap usually causes them to ask to be seated some place else.
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08-04-2009, 09:15 PM
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#3
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Deader Bears=Better Bears
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: BFE,Mississippi
Posts: 14,907
Liked 2428 Times on 1462 Posts
Likes Given: 1905
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That link is nice, though.
I could fart potently enough to make them leave to be ill. I'm not sure the collateral damage to my other neighbors would be justified.
I don't fly anymore & miss the Amtrak of the 80's.
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08-04-2009, 09:25 PM
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#4
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Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ohio,Ohio
Posts: 10,949
Liked 8 Times on 7 Posts
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How's this. Start talking non-stop about how you get motion sickness easily. Grab the barf bag and open it. Say things like, "I should not have had that 3 alarm chilli for breakfast. I'm gonna puke the whole trip. Do you have any breath fresheners? If I pass out and puke on you, I'm sorry. I can't believe this is going to happen again. Just like last time. You don't have a squeemish stomach, do you? I can't sit on the aisle, that makes it worse. Oh god, I can't stand it. I hope my puke does not stink as bad as my last trip. Can you hold the bag for me?"
__________________
From C3Shooter:
Skullcrusher, you are evil, sick, demented, twisted- and my hero!
Quote:
Originally Posted by pandamonium
...without the Second, we cannot protect the rest!
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08-04-2009, 10:01 PM
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#5
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Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Stafford, Virginia,The state of insanity.
Posts: 14,043
Liked 21 Times on 17 Posts
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I normally just say "OH HOLLY CRAP LOOK AT THAT THE ENGINE IS LOOSE".
The last few times I have flown has been ok for sitting next to people.
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08-04-2009, 10:07 PM
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#6
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Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ohio,Ohio
Posts: 10,949
Liked 8 Times on 7 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpttango30
I normally just say "OH HOLLY CRAP LOOK AT THAT THE ENGINE IS LOOSE".
The last few times I have flown has been ok for sitting next to people.
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Good one! Try this next time, "There's a creature on the wing!" Sweating profusely will help the situation.
__________________
From C3Shooter:
Skullcrusher, you are evil, sick, demented, twisted- and my hero!
Quote:
Originally Posted by pandamonium
...without the Second, we cannot protect the rest!
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08-04-2009, 10:09 PM
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#7
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Deader Bears=Better Bears
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: BFE,Mississippi
Posts: 14,907
Liked 2428 Times on 1462 Posts
Likes Given: 1905
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skullcrusher
Good one! Try this next time, "There's a creature on the wing!" Sweating profusely will help the situation.
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John Lithgow FTW!
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08-04-2009, 10:14 PM
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#8
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Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ohio,Ohio
Posts: 10,949
Liked 8 Times on 7 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orangello
John Lithgow FTW!
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William Shatner (the original B&W version) for the coup de gras!
__________________
From C3Shooter:
Skullcrusher, you are evil, sick, demented, twisted- and my hero!
Quote:
Originally Posted by pandamonium
...without the Second, we cannot protect the rest!
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08-04-2009, 10:20 PM
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#9
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Deader Bears=Better Bears
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: BFE,Mississippi
Posts: 14,907
Liked 2428 Times on 1462 Posts
Likes Given: 1905
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skullcrusher
William Shatner (the original B&W version) for the coup de gras!
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Can't top Shatner, unless you are a wig.
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08-04-2009, 11:17 PM
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#10
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Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: |,Maryland
Posts: 3,849
Liked 411 Times on 250 Posts
Likes Given: 137
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I think I would go with the offensive porn or the ranting about parts falling off the plane. That website might get your ass handed to you by fellow passengers.
__________________
"Good people drink good beer."
Hunter S. Thompson
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