What to do on a plane if the passenger next to you is irritating:
 

What to do on a plane if the passenger next to you is irritating:

1- Remove your lap top from its bag
2- Open the laptop slowly and carefully
3- Turn on
4- Ensure the passenger next to you is watching
5- Turn on the Internet
6- Close your eyes for a brief moment, open them again, turn your
gaze upwards to the skies as if in prayer
7- Take a deep breath and open this site

The End!!!!

8-Observe the facial expression of your neighboring passenger:D

Gay porn and a coat over my lap usually causes them to ask to be seated some place else.

That link is nice, though.

I could fart potently enough to make them leave to be ill. I'm not sure the collateral damage to my other neighbors would be justified.

I don't fly anymore & miss the Amtrak of the 80's.

How's this. Start talking non-stop about how you get motion sickness easily. Grab the barf bag and open it. Say things like, "I should not have had that 3 alarm chilli for breakfast. I'm gonna puke the whole trip. Do you have any breath fresheners? If I pass out and puke on you, I'm sorry. I can't believe this is going to happen again. Just like last time. You don't have a squeemish stomach, do you? I can't sit on the aisle, that makes it worse. Oh god, I can't stand it. I hope my puke does not stink as bad as my last trip. Can you hold the bag for me?"

I normally just say "OH HOLLY CRAP LOOK AT THAT THE ENGINE IS LOOSE".

The last few times I have flown has been ok for sitting next to people.

Good one! Try this next time, "There's a creature on the wing!" Sweating profusely will help the situation.

John Lithgow FTW!

William Shatner (the original B&W version) for the coup de gras!

Can't top Shatner, unless you are a wig. :D

I think I would go with the offensive porn or the ranting about parts falling off the plane. That website might get your ass handed to you by fellow passengers.