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 08-18-2009, 03:02 PM | #1 | When it's Necessary.... Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Tornado "Just Blow Me" Alley, Oklahoma U.S.A. Posts: 8,424 |  We are moving to Mexico
Dear Mr. President, Senate and House of Representatives:
I'm planning to move my family and extended family (18-20 mouths)
into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S.
into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports,
immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things
the same way you do here.
So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on
my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might
need, whether I use them or not.
3. All Mexico government forms need to also be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking
(bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at
their school.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access
to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but, I don't plan to
purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to
learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from
their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car
has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U.S. flag decals
on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any
complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or
have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely
nice and never say a critical things about me or my family, or about the
strain we might place on their economy.
14. Please start putting up billboards in English that advertise for government jobs.
15. Be sure to add a "press 1 for English" option on all of their phone services.
16. If the occasion arises that I ever get caught doing anything illegal, I cannot be deported even though I'm not a citizen.
I know these would be an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind help.
Sincerely,
Jack Schitt
US Citizen & Taxpayer __________________
Jack
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ!
"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." - Hemingway
“The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.”
Last edited by IGETEVEN; 08-18-2009 at 05:08 PM.Reason: Addition to list | 
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| 08-18-2009, 03:09 PM | #2 | Ground Zero Ocean Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Florence, Oregon Posts: 8,463 |
Funny and sad at the same friggin' time EVEN!! __________________ Molon Labe!
Quote:
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Hey, any constitution that acknowledges the people have a right to own weapons so that they may defend themselves -- including from an out-of-control government -- is OK by me...bkt
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People get the government they deserve. | |
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| 08-18-2009, 03:20 PM | #3 | mmmmm...... Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Maiden, NC Posts: 9,583 |
I didn't know you're last name was Schitt. __________________
If the pain is lacking so is the discipline...
"the only 911 call I need is chambering a round" - Mr. Muller, MO car dealer | |
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| 08-18-2009, 03:30 PM | #4 | When it's Necessary.... Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Tornado "Just Blow Me" Alley, Oklahoma U.S.A. Posts: 8,424 |
Quote:
Originally Posted by spittinfire
I didn't know you're last name was Schitt.
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Ahhhhh......yes, it is a family traditional name. I will cover my family's namesake and family tree in another thread, it is quite extensive. 
Jack __________________
Jack
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ!
"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." - Hemingway
“The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.”
Last edited by IGETEVEN; 08-18-2009 at 09:00 PM. | |
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| 08-18-2009, 03:38 PM | #5 | mmmmm...... Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Maiden, NC Posts: 9,583 |
so if I called you Schitt head, it wouldn't be offensive? __________________
If the pain is lacking so is the discipline...
"the only 911 call I need is chambering a round" - Mr. Muller, MO car dealer | |
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| 08-18-2009, 03:47 PM | #6 | When it's Necessary.... Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Tornado "Just Blow Me" Alley, Oklahoma U.S.A. Posts: 8,424 |
Quote:
Originally Posted by spittinfire
so if I called you Schitt head, it wouldn't be offensive?
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"Mr. Schitt head" to your sir, you are younger than I and you do respect your elders and veterans, from what I have seen in your posts.
Now....You do know the saying, "When schitt hits the fan" you need to step back, because that's me!!  
Jack __________________
Jack
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ!
"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." - Hemingway
“The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.” | |
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| 08-18-2009, 03:47 PM | #7 | Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: , Upstate NY Posts: 478 |
Oh boy.....free beans.....can I go too??? Do I have to change my last name from GetWood to Schitt or what???
OC __________________
"magbum" | |
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| 08-18-2009, 04:08 PM | #8 | Supporting Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Rogers, AR Posts: 6,267 |
That's good stuff. | |
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| 08-18-2009, 04:51 PM | #9 | Sic Semper Tyrannis Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: , The Mother Lode Posts: 18,437 |
Well, friggin' ole! __________________
Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy) - a system of government where those least capable of leadership are elected by those least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to succeed or provide for themselves are rewarded with goods and services paid for by wealth confiscated from a diminishing number of people who actually work and produce.
ΜΟΛ'ΩΝ ΛΑΒ'Ε | |
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| 08-18-2009, 05:00 PM | #10 | Administrator Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Hill Country, Texas Posts: 3,653 |
Add to that if I ever get caught doing anything illegal I cannot be deported even though I'm not a citizen. __________________ Not Registered? Register now! - It's free and helps the community grow. | Likes Given: 1
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