Time For A Divorce


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Old 02-17-2009, 06:23 PM   #1
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Default Time For A Divorce

I stole this from Texas Gun Talk. Nice chaps, btw.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, so******ts, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, Jane Fonda and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & traitor Jane Fonda with you.



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Old 02-17-2009, 06:30 PM   #2
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*Rubber Stamp, bangs gavel* Done. And Done. I hereby Authorize this divorce under the Mod powers bestowed upon me by FirearmsTalk to take place immediately if not sooner....

JD



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Old 02-17-2009, 06:30 PM   #3
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Great post. Lifted my spirits a little.

If only it could happen.

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Old 02-17-2009, 06:49 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dnthmn2004 View Post
Great post. Lifted my spirits a little.

If only it could happen.
I know! I got the warm fuzzies thinking about the bill being introduced in congress by a Blue Dog Democrat. Rawr!

I think I'm sporting wood...
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:17 PM   #5
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I got that in an e-mail from my father yesterday. Not exactly word for word, but close enough to say it is the same. Isn't that what the south was trying to do in 1860?

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Old 02-17-2009, 07:29 PM   #6
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I don't believe in divorce but in this case I'll it slide. I think my wife would agree.

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Old 02-17-2009, 09:06 PM   #7
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This has been making the rounds on various gun boards and has been cause for quite a lot of discussion. Especially on boards where there is a librul presence. (Gun board + Librul = oxymoron)

It's a great thought and it's fun and righteous to contemplate. I believe that we are heading in that direction, but what form any type of divide will take is unknown to me. However, I do see something drastic having to take place. I believe that it is inevitable.

I also believe that many of us are essentially at that point right now. Where this goes is up in the air, but I see tyranny. Tyranny will eventually demand a response.

Don't Tread On Me.

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Old 02-17-2009, 11:30 PM   #8
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When is this Big D gonna happen because it cant happen soon enough in my mind !

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Old 02-18-2009, 01:28 AM   #9
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I think it will be very ugly and costly as well.

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Old 02-18-2009, 12:01 PM   #10
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It's a great idea, but there's one wee problem. It won't be an amicable divorce because the other side needs the wealth you earn to fund, via taxes, their programs. The left will use every means at their disposal to ensure your money keeps going to them. You work for them. Your money isn't yours, it's theirs. They own you.

(I thought we did away with slavery a while back. Did I miss something?)



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