Things you Dad told you
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Old 10-05-2011, 03:07 PM   #1
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Default Things you Dad told you

All of the memorable quotes and bits of advice and words of wisdom our dads told us growing up .

Son.. you could destroy a cast iron fire hydrant with a rubber hammer

You could be the single most destructive asset to our military if you joined

You could tear up a bulldozer in a rubber room

You could sink a aircraft carrier with your bare hands

You better not drink to night .. in fact I should whip your ass before hand just so you don't . '' than one worked often ''

You would make Mario Andretti proud

You burn up more tires than Richard Petty

There is not a vehicle in the world that can hold up to you

NO ! you can not drive my truck !

'' While checking the oil on one of his trucks one day ...'' Son ? What have you done to my poor truck ? It looks like someone dropped it out of a helicopter into a giant mud hole ! Yea but the outside is clean

Everyday when I got home ... What have you done now ? '' not what did you do / learn today '' lol

Im going to get your pepaw to wear your ass out like he did me

Dont tell your moma

Trooper or officer ________ just called and said your were going so fast he couldn't get turned around fast enough

'' Our 1st & last time shooting skeet '' I Felt the shot go by my head !

I should have never done all of those burn outs , doughnuts and drive fast with you , '' Me'' well you taught me how to do it ! '' Dad '' well your pepaw told me how to do it '' me '' so it's his fault then ?

How do you keep ripping transmissions out of the lawn mowers ?!

Nothing good happens after 12 and nothing goods comes out of a bar

You think Im bad wait till your moma gets home '' And he was right ''

Wow looking back I must have been a destructive lil bastard ! lol

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Old 10-05-2011, 03:10 PM   #2
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...You can LOVE a RICH one as easy as a POOR one....No body will try and mess with a ugly girlfriend,like they will a pretty one......

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Old 10-05-2011, 03:20 PM   #3
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FART...Down-wind.........

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Old 10-05-2011, 03:21 PM   #4
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Memorable quotes and advice.

1) "Son, you will never be big enough to whip my ass."

He was very wrong...

2) "Son, you can want in one hand and sh!t in the other and see which one fills up faster."

He was very right....

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Old 10-05-2011, 03:23 PM   #5
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Uhmmm.... I'm thinking.... I'm thinking......

Nope, I've got nothing. My Grandad on the other hand...

Hang and rattle! -when times are tough.

Well, well, well. About as good as 3 holes in the ground. -just an inside joke.

When you get some ice out of the freezer for your water, just go ahead and throw a cube on the floor. At least one is gonna end up there anyway.

Don't sleep with the preacher's daughter anymore, she's a bad influence on you!

When you get as old as I am and someone wants to fight you, kick'em in the nuts first. There's no shame in it when your old and feeble.

It's a hell of a thing to kill a man. It hurts you right in the soul.

When you pick her up on your first date, lock the doors to the car. When you unlock her door and open it to let her in the car, watch through the window to see if she leans over to unlock your door for you too. If she does, you better treat her right. If she doesn't, it might as well be the last date too. -me- Is that what you did with Granny? -him- We still do it everytime we go somewhere now.

Turn it around and wear it like a grown man, instead of some punk thug!! -after grabbing the brim of my backwards ball cap and dragging me to the ground with it.

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Old 10-05-2011, 03:23 PM   #6
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"Listen to what your Mother tells you."

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Old 10-05-2011, 03:37 PM   #7
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In the Morning,get in the Bathroom before your sisters...and I think that was pee down wind...not fart.......

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Old 10-05-2011, 04:06 PM   #8
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My dad enjoys telling me, I have no money (even though i work full time), and i am expendable at any means.

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Old 10-05-2011, 04:20 PM   #9
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Told dad "I'm going to college." His reply? "Why? Do they need a janitor?"

"Don't tell me you can't do it. That just means you don't want to put the effort forward."

To my wife, when we were dating: "I don't care what your dad said. You can do anything a damn man can do and look better at it."

To my older brother: "You could screw up a date with a two dollar whore when all you got is twenties."

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Old 10-05-2011, 04:32 PM   #10
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My Dad was always full of wisdom (or maybe he was full of something else) but the one piece of advise I rember the most came from my uncle about camping in bear country. Rember if a bear is chasing you, You don't have to be the fastest just faster than the slowest.

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