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The Thermodynamics of Hell

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Old 04-11-2014, 01:32 AM   #1
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Default The Thermodynamics of Hell

I smiled at this. From Colby College.

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate
students. It had one question: Is hell exothermic (giving off heat) or
endothermic (taking in or absorbing heat)? Support your answer with a proof.
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they
do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving
into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of
these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as
they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of
the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

A1: So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell
breaks loose.

A2: Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Therese Banyan during
Freshman year, that "it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you"
and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual
relations with her, then A2 cannot be true, thus hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it's boring and I go back to being me."
"You might as well be yourself, people won’t like you anyway."
"Tres verbo dictom"

Last edited by Vincine; 04-11-2014 at 03:15 AM.
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Old 04-11-2014, 02:43 AM   #2
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Well I imagine when the Devil bites your ass the correct answer will become quite clear
'Steel cuts flesh / steel cuts bone / steel does not cut steel.'

Become steel or get cut.
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