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Old 03-08-2009, 01:46 AM   #41
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Originally Posted by SlamFire View Post
"Honey, do these pants make my butt look big?"

" -- It's not the pants . . . "

etc. etc. etc.
Ok, only 5 posts up?

Where's the lazy smilie?
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Old 03-08-2009, 04:32 AM   #42
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The old lady's really been on my last nerve lately,
The other night she tells me she has a problem and wants to lose a little weight. She ask what should she do to lose it.
I tell her she needs to walk 3 miles every day and 3 miles every night.
"Really" she says, "how long do I need to do that for."
"About a week should do it." I say
"So if I do that you think it'll solve my problem"
"No,but your fat a$$ will be 42 miles away and that solves mine"
And Then The Fight Started..

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Old 03-09-2009, 11:42 AM   #43
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The other day I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is
engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+
years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men
by wearing a black leather bra & bodice, stiletto heels and a mask
over just our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here's how it all went:


My engaged friend:
The other night my boyfriend came over and found me wearing a black
leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You
are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night
long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was
wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a
raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had
wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black
stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in
the door and saw me he said…

"What's for dinner, Batman?"

And then the fight started

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