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Old 02-09-2009, 03:34 AM   #21
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

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Old 02-09-2009, 11:44 PM   #22
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Canebrake, you and the rest of the guys on here missed your calling. You guys should be comedians, just to funny.

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Old 02-10-2009, 12:09 AM   #23
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Wife said lets be kinky. OK, She handcuffs me to the bed grabs my wallet and leaves. She gets home hours later after shopping.
And then the fight started...

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Old 02-10-2009, 12:11 AM   #24
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Woodsman You think all this $hit is original?

A smart man doesn't need to know everything, he just needs to know the phone numbers"!

Thanks anyway!

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 1 0 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...

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"...if doves shot back, there wouldn't be a need for a bag limit."
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Old 02-10-2009, 06:46 PM   #25
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My wife and I were in bed. I asked her, "you want to make love?"
She said "OK". We laid there. I looked at her. She looked at me. I said "What, you can't think of anybody either?"

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Old 02-10-2009, 07:00 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freefall View Post
My wife and I were in bed. I asked her, "you want to make love?"
She said "OK". We laid there. I looked at her. She looked at me. I said "What, you can't think of anybody either?"
And then the fight started...
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Get her dirty, then clean her so she starts to respect you. When her trust is complete, she will serve you well for a lifetime!

"...if doves shot back, there wouldn't be a need for a bag limit."
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Old 02-10-2009, 07:32 PM   #27
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My wife asked, "Tell I am as beautiful now as the day we wed."
I said, "The day wed wed, you started your monthly thing. You were bloated, irritable, sweaty and had mild acne. I guess I can say yes you are."

THAT' WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED

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...without the Second, we cannot protect the rest!
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Old 02-10-2009, 07:36 PM   #28
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Wife: My whole life everyone has liked my sister more than they like me. What do you think of her?

Me: Aww c'mon, you're a better kisser.

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED

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Old 02-10-2009, 08:45 PM   #29
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My wife snuggeled up to me in bed last night and whispered, "hey honey, would you like a little pu--y". "Hell yes" I replied, "yours is as big as a house"


AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED
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Old 02-10-2009, 09:46 PM   #30
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A man and a woman was asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy ****. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....

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Get her dirty, then clean her so she starts to respect you. When her trust is complete, she will serve you well for a lifetime!

"...if doves shot back, there wouldn't be a need for a bag limit."
- orangello
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